Discussed crossdressing desire with wife

It did not go well. At all. She got incredibly angry, mostly because of keeping a secret from her. And of course I feel terrible about that.

I’ve pushed it down my entire life and have never told a soul. I’m not actively dressing, but I admitted to dressing about two years ago while she was out of town. I immediately regretted it, threw everything away, and decided to shove it back down.

The desire has been coming back lately so I knew I had to at least say something. I needed to just feel accepted and not a freak.

But now I’m afraid she’ll never look at me the same again. She thinks it could lead me to transition, but I’m confident knowing I don’t identify with that and enjoy my life otherwise. She told me to leave for a few days. She’s been talking to friends for support and I have nobody to talk about this with out of fear of the same thing happening.

I should’ve come clean sooner. I wish I didn’t have this. I genuinely don’t know what to do.