Divorce husband and date ‘the other man
Hi All,
Im 27, married for 1 year (been with my husband 7 years). I cant find passion or love with him anymore. Its like living with my best friend, I care about him but the love is gone. Hes an amazing person but there are no romance at all. I have never cheated before and I am otherwise a trustworthy and good person, but I am cheating on my husband with someone I met at work. The passion we have is exciting and wild and we get along well also. Ive been having an affair with the other man for 9 months... we have fallen in love. Now its becoming complicated because everyday I just want to be with the other man. And the other guy loves me and wants me to be his girlfriend. Hes finding it harder and harder to not be with me and he is serious about wanting me to leave my husband for him. He doesnt put pressure on me he just loves me and we want to be together. How do we ... be together? I will need to give up my entire life Ive built with my husband, we dont have kids but we have a house and cats and history of course. The other man wants me to jet off to New York with him. I need help guys... based on the details Ive given what are some things I may have forgotten to consider. Side note please no judgment on the cheating factor (I know Im a scumbag, I am disgusted with myself but the love I feel for the other man is out of control). Any advice would be great please help me consider my choices :(
@tragickitty
have you already made the choice and looking for help to feel better about it. i guess the situation you describe is common and occures often. so it is not like you are different, there are many doing the same.
you probably already know... but would tell some theory about this in case not.
there are generally two type of guys, lovers and providers. lots more info/details about the differences, but at a high level one is very sexy/confident/powerfull/sexually attractive the other is like your husband, kind/giving/dedicated/not as sexually attractive. it is a truly rare man that can do/be both. it can be.. but maybe less than 1 in a thousand. both types can try to fake it to make it, but usually neither has the internal mechanisms to do other than what they are born and raised to be and both types will have problems in life due t the misssing...
sounds like you are far down the road with the new guy. IMHO.. the kindest thing you can do for your husband is to break away from him. He will have to know about the cheating so that he can have a chance to break his attachment to you, if you care about that. Of course I don't know the man, but be carfull of what is his reaction... he might go looking for your new lover depending on how deeply emotionally attached he is to you. His world is going to burn no matter what now, the kindest thing you can do is get it done soon. From what you write, you have no intention of keeping him.
I don't really put blame to you or think you scum like you suggeted.. It is not like that, girls will chase the best most sexy many that they can get, it is built in and only the strongest girls will resist it. It is up to the husband to become aware and try to manage it. In this case your husband did/could not for any number of reasons.
Good Luck
