Does he like me? I need advice
Hi. So I have this guy friend that I'm really close too. I really really like him but I can't tell if he likes me back. Our relationship grew really slowly so we sort of slowly gained trust, so now I can't really tell what is just us being really comfortable with each other or if there's something more. We did kiss once but that was a year ago, he was in a relationship at the time so nothing happened after that. He has since gotten out of the relationship, but he's still friends with her so I can't tell if he still has feelings for her or not. Lately we've been together more and more again. We have dinner together almost everyday. Last time we had dinner together he took to a somewhat deserted place so that we could look at the stars. We started watching a show together and so I go to his place almost every night, and the last couple of times he very weirdly invited me to sleep over. He makes it look like it's no big deal and it's just cause it's late and I'm already comfortable but he gets really awkward. I did sleep over and nothing happened tho, we just slept. Sometimes I feel like it's so obvious that there's something between us but sometimes I think that if there really was, something more would have happened by now. I'd like to hear everyone's thoughts cause I don't know what to do.
@diplomaticSail1449
Sounds like you both are waiting for the other to confirm how they feel ..... all waiting for a sign to make a move and both not wanting to unless they are sure......
I think you tell him how you feel that you like like him and the signals your getting like the amount time spent together and the sleep over....... suggest he feels the same....
what can happen ... you will find out instead of this ships passing in the night type of thing.... many things in life people miss out on because they were not clear or did not ask but tried to figure things out from clues or signals that could go either way.
@diplomaticSail1449 It sounds like you have a really close and beautiful relationship. You probably both really want to protect the friendship and that probably explains why it feels a little awkward at times. I think you’re the best judge of how to proceed. It’s a delicate space to navigate isn’t it?
Exactly! I can't bring myself to make a move because I'm always so scared I'll ruin the friendship we have and I really don't want that, but then I'm always wandering, what if he's thinking the same thing? What if he also doesn't make a move because he's not sure..
The fact that you kissed once indicates that there's something more there beyond friendship -- even if it did happen a year ago. The rest are things that couples do, but perhaps he's too shy to directly express his true intentions. towards you.
One of you will have to address the elephant in the room at some point, or this could get dragged out for even longer and cause you more unnecessary anxiety. There's nothing weird about asking him what his intentions are towards you between the kiss that happened a year ago, the sleepovers, and everything else. It's an obvious question that would pop up in everyone's mind.
I think you should bring up your feelings as well. It's important to be honest and vulnerable with each other if we want real, intimate relationships. This often means taking a risk. You say you're afraid of running the friendship, but the friend zone was broken the moment you two kissed, in my opinion. It is something of an illusion in that regard.
Sometimes you have to be the one to initiate. Then you will at least know the truth either way which will give you closure. It's always better to know the truth than to float in limbo with something nagging at you forever. Your time is valuable. Don't be afraid. You got this.
