Drugs cheating engagement hatred
Think the title hits the nail on the head
Each four words strongly representing and very clearly emphasising defining chapters and briefly the problem. More of a tragerdy than an issue or something resolvable or work through able.
I guess im just hurt, lost and confused
This guy was everything and more hence being engaged and somehow i wound up down his merry go round using drugs and exposed to a world like i never knew
Its scary to loose everything you know, all that you are and what has mattered most not to mention loose yourself.....your partner as you knew him and anything at all that makes sense
Sexually we explored other girls in speech atleast and he ended up with one we spoke of. He says this is my fault and speaks so much of all his hurt and being let down.
I was blind and reliant, unfairly so, on him and he kind of just went with. My choices non the less but to what extent am i truely held responsible as would never undef normal pretences.
This evil of ice he has known and i ended up in a psychosis on more than one occasion. I drove him insane scared and unsure of anything at all....looking desperately for answers and the world as i knew it. Everything to return as it was
So much time past......ended up using longer than our relationship itself and all he had biilt up for himself whixh had been a long journey for him was gone....life and work ....for me too.
He is going to be happy now....with this girl he cheated with. It breaks me......
@tornwillow
Hi there, I really hear how much pain you're going through. It sounds like you had a lot of history with him. You have depended on him and found happiness through him. Nobody can fault you for feeling heartbroken right now, especially when you have given him your all. It's just a shame that he did not appreciate you in the way which you so deserve.
I wish there was something I could say or do to mend this :( For now, take it easy and focus on yourself. It's great that you're slowly trying to build your career, but make sure to take a breath and reflect on what it is you really want from life. If talking helps too, don't hesitate to connect with a listener on 7Cups alright? You are not alone in this! I know it's a hard time, but we will get through this together!
@2cupsofteaa
I have tears from reading such a beautiful and touching reply; thankyou so much for your words and time in reading my post!
It has indeed all been really hard and somewhat overwhelming, not to mention scary, so i really appreciate you feeling my struggle and pain.
I do need to reflect and refocus; work out what's important and what i truely want and need instead of just shifting....guess im having trouble even doing that. It's all so complicated really yet in saying that i am also definatley making it all so much harder than it is too.
I wish i could just wake up and it all be gone somehow
@tornwillow
Aww don't mention it! I might not have had the same situation that you are in, but I can definitely relate to the pain and hurt that you're going through right now. It's a lot to take in, and so the key here is to really give yourself some time to think. Growth really comes most during hardships :) You might not see it now, but it is there happening, and in 1 year time, 10 years time and so on, when you look back, you'll realize how much you've learnt and grow from this. Of course don't expect to walk away from this unscarred, because in some way, this history is now a part of you, and it will probably change you. Nevertheless, you have the power to perceive this situation in a different way. Instead of thinking "I am not good enough, I am lost", you could instead think "he is the one who is losing out on an incredible person. With that relationship ending, it will open new possibilities and potentials for me". I know it's easier said than done, but just trying to remind yourself to see things in a positive light can help a tiny bit sometimes!
Things do happen for a reason, and in a way, you could feel thankful that it happened now than many years down the road. But no matter what, you've lost something you truly loved and treasured, and it's okay to mourn, it's okay to cry, to feel drained, to feel down on yourself and your life. So just remember to take it easy on yourself. It's going to be rough, and scary, and overwhelming, as you're basically walking on new and unfamiliar terrains. Big changes like these are hard as it takes time for us to catch up to the transition, and accept it. What will help during such times though is finding a good support network if you can. This way, you won't feel too alone in this. And when you're ready, what might also help is to try something new and different, even if it's something small like taking salsa class (sorry couldn't think of anything else inventive haha). Basically, focus on growing into a person that you want to be! One step at a time :)
@2cupsofteaa ......you are just.....wow...a million times thankyou!!
But really!!!
If only I could begin to express the significance and impact you've had; i just feel so blessed and grateful!! Reading that....i just have no words...exactly what i needed and more!
Such a wise, generous, loving and caring soul you both are have with the most beautiful of hearts.
Please know that you have indeed made a difference in someones life and been the inspiration for strength and brought hope in faith as well as been a reason behind a smile!!
Thankyou for your kindness and compassion and i wish you all the happiness and love, that you so willing give and offer yourself, and may it be returned all the more times and through many miracles or miraculous ways xx
@tornwillow
Aww don't mention it :) That is very sweet what you said, and I am very happy to hear that my words were able to encourage and uplift you even for a bit :) But you know..half the time, I am not that wise or warm or generous person you mentioned - to be honest, I can totally get all cranky, inconsiderate and irrational too! But that's part of being human, and it's this understanding that we are not perfect and that we hurt and break the same way, even if the issues are different, which really makes me relate to what you have said.
I really do wish you the best, and all the great things in life. You do deserve so much better and I hope that you'll find your own happiness in yourself, one step at a time. It won't be easy, but when you begin to see progress, you'll understand how fulfilling that can be :) Again, if you feel like you need more support, it's alright to reach out to someone. Having someone who listens to what you've got to say can help long way. For my own personal story with my past relationship, what really kept me sane was my support network!
