Feeling frustrated and stuck
I've been in a relationship for 5 yrs now. The first 2 was good, but afterwards I started feeling unappreciated, taken advantage. I'm not good with express my feelings. I felt I was only there to cook, and clean, take care of the kids, remind him bills are due, etc. Not once did he stop and think hmm what can I do to make her day better or my gf is always doing for me what can I do for her? When I did say something he brused it off. Over time I stopped telling him and started putting up walls. Fast forward to now. I don't love him anymore and I've started premenopause, He says Im not being open minded and that I wont try or it could be my hormones affecting my decision. I'm on medication for my hormones, and I still feel the same. I don't love him. He doesn't understand how what he did could cause me to fall out of love. I've explained to him its not what you didn't do it's the fact you brushed my feelings aside. That hurt more than anything. When we are together I feel he manipulates me and begs me to love him. I feel the need to give him and please him even though I don't want to. I don't know how else to explain this to him. I feel so stuck and I don't like seeing myself go down this path of always giving in to him.
@Kehau74
Maybe I'm a little bit old fashion but I'm wondering what will happen to your kids? You say the first 2 years were good. So the main issue is that he doesn't appreciate you and what you do for him and the household. Does he understand that you don't love him? If you have made this clear to him and he is pressuring you for sex and you are giving in he's never going to accept that you are done.
@inventiveSquare4593 he hears me when I say I dont love him, but comes back with if you fell out of love you can fall back if you just try. Ive tried reconnecting with him by communicating about my day, his day, going out on dinner dates. I know its not going to happen over night. Ive mentally moved on. As for the kids I dont have any. They are his twin 17 year boys.
@Kehau74 Pack up an leave him. The kids are not yours and you are not married. If it was that simple you would not have taken the time to share your pain. Since you have not given anyone much to work with because maybe you're not ready or it too much. All I do is share my experience and hope that it helps. Been married twice and the first one was horrible but I learned and I healed from it. If you want me to elaborate I am happy to do so. Or maybe someone else wants to chime in?
@kehau74 I was not going to add anymore to this thread. I am writing this because I asked my wife if she ever felt that I pressured or manipulated her for sex. She said no, but Im pretty good at dropping hints. She drops hints too and we read each other very well. She says that manipulation or pressuring for intimacy is close to rape and I agree, so I felt that I should speak up. I did a search and I see that a few years ago you posted that the only time you two a sexual is when youre taking extasy. Several people responded and told you to get away from him. In this current post you say that you been together for 5 years so I assume same guy. Anyone that manipulates or pressures a partner and gets them drunk or high is bad news. Does he question the way you dress, Monitor your conversations, go through your stuff including your phone? He wont accept that the relationship is over and if hasnt already, he will probably hit you. All of these things are classic warning signs. My wife has also been divorced before but her parents stayed together and she knows how to make things work because she had a good example We argue, we negotiate, then we laugh. We are not perfect. Get away and find happiness. You are being controlled and cheated out of true love.
