Found a list or p0rn stars
I found a list of 21 porn stars in my husbands notes.
Weve been married for 7 years and have been trying for our 2nd child the past year and it hasn’t been successful. He wrote this list the day I miscarried and said it’s “just something guys do”
he said it’s his outlet when I reject him, when the only reason I’m not having sex is because I’m recovering from a miscarriage.
a few years ago he told me he wasn’t physically attracted to me, so seeing this list is a blow to my self esteem.
he often time chats with his boys about the looks of other girls so I’m a point where I’m just feeling so worthless, ugly and don’t understand why I’m putting up with all this crap to feel this way.
Hey there I'm a male myself also married, I told my wife I watch porn from time to time she is okai with it because I was honest about it. Take a deep breathe he is feeling the same pain about your miscarriage the same way you are. Ask yourself would you rather him watch porn and have his own happy ending. Or would you rather him have an actual affair and sleep with random women?? Let him be it's silly of us yes but the man isn't funking another women. Watch it with him you'll be suprised you might fall pregnant.... all the best wish you both well......
Thank you, I appreciate your point of view. Reminding myself he is hurting as well, thank you!
@creativeCranberry7352
so a few things he had a list somewhere you could find it or did you go digging?
you both are stressed with the current situation and sometimes people find stress relief in self pleasure ...
He said something hurtful saying he was no longer attracted a FEW years ago..... and you are holding on to that ? please let that go and quit using it to feel bad about it. Was it during a fight or argument and he said knowing it would hurt your feeling do you think he thought you were going to carry that in your thoughts for years? I wanted to say this to my spouse to motivate them to take their appearance more seriously lose weight etc.... but i realized my loss of attraction was not about that but because we have deeper issues that have killed my attraction.
The item is if someone is to stray....( sounds like he is not).......... it is not about looks but more about getting something met by the other person not just physical.
unlike the movies etc .......In real life the other person sometimes if less attractive then the partner but makes the person feel great.
how you feel about yourself makes a difference if you feel unattractive and bad about yourself .... you can change that without his stamp of approval ....
@creativeCranberry7352 I'm sorry that you're going through this. I have also suffered the pain of miscarriage. To also be struggling in your marriage, with your self-esteem and worthiness is a really, really difficult place to be! if I had found that list, I would felt a kind of betrayal. If he is not emotionally available for you, that is another barrier in the relationship. If you are not feeling loved and cared for, maybe you two should talk to someone and try to work out how each of you is feeling, and how you two might communicate better about expectations and availability in the future.