He's not making the sacrifices
I've been with my boyfriend 3yrs now, recently moved in together (I moved towns, away from my friends and family, so he could stay next to his and his job) and we are on the most part having the best time and getting on great! Our plans in life are aligned and I'm excited for our future together.
However a reoccurring discussion creeps up about compromises, with contraception in particular. I've had rough time with contraception throughout my teenage and young adult life and cannot wait to get it binned when not needed anymore! However my partner is completely closed off on the idea of a vasectomy once we've had kids. I feel that after years of putting my body through *** with hormones and cycle changes, it's the least a male can do? But am I being unfair to expect this of him? Am I taking away his autonomy?
I could really use others perspectives on this!! Thanks in advance x
@understandingCircle6872
Firstly, I'm sorry you've had a rough go of things with contraception. From what I've observed, that whole thread of life can go unnoticed by male partners (hormonal changes, altered body cycles, mood differences, etc).
I agree gender expectations are and have been messed up when it comes to contraception and bodily autonomy/expectations--and sacrifice in general.
I also believe what we do with our bodies should be our choice, and that goes for females *and* males.
Sounds like there might still be an interesting conversation to be had w your partner around the why's, though. I hope you can come to a deeper understanding of each other.
Thank you so much for your insight, it's really appreciated 😊
@understandingCircle6872
It has always been my feeling that it should be discussed and decided equally. Once the decision is made that you are no longer having any ( more) children. I think a vasectomy is an option but for some reason some males freak out perhaps scared of loss of function or any number fears about the procedure.
