How to get over my crush
I have a crush.( love at first sight ) And I cannot get over him. I've like him for two years and it turn into love. We are in the same university but we are totally like a stranger as we have only been in the same class for one semester. We don't know each other much. One day I message and ask him if he has a girlfriend, and he told me that has a girlfriend. I'm sad. I want to give up. I didn't want to destroy his relationship with the girl. But at the same time I love him so much, that I cannot give up on him. I want to be friend with him, but I felt like I would cross over the line if I did. So, I didn't find him anymore. It feels really painful. Can someone gives me advices ?
@Iwonderifiam
Hey there, hopefully you are doing well. There's a few things I would like to point out;
I have a crush.( love at first sight ) And I cannot get over him. (I can see why you would feel this way, since this is a person you really like. I would respectfully would like to say that this is more of a fantasy than love at first sight, its like having this strong need to feel loved, connected and to get unmet needs through a person) I've like him for two years and it turn into love. (This is a sign you are probably very fixated on this person because in the unconcious it feels like this person could make you happy or a certain way you didn't feel before. It may also have to do to not get close to others because of the way you are very focused on him) We are in the same university but we are totally like a stranger as we have only been in the same class for one semester. We don't know each other much. (I can understand why this make you feel disappointed. You mentioned love at first sight, but you would have to really get to know him before it even turns into love. Its a projection and a fantasy on him, in a way you might be looking for someone to love and take care of you. Lets say you do get to know him, but he can't attach well or he isn't what you though...what then?. These are things you have to also think about) One day I message and ask him if he has a girlfriend, and he told me that has a girlfriend. I'm sad. I want to give up. I didn't want to destroy his relationship with the girl. But at the same time I love him so much, that I cannot give up on him. (I can understand why you would feel hurt after finding out he has a girlfriend. This strong need to be loved and connected are the driving force behind the way you feel, so you will end up having a lot of crushes because unconciously you will perceive them as people to make you feel loved and take care of you) I want to be friend with him, but I felt like I would cross over the line if I did. (In here the pain and hurt you feel its making you ignore a lot of things because at this time you are focused on having this other person make you feel a certain, so he has become an object here) So, I didn't find him anymore. It feels really painful. Can someone gives me advices ? (It's important to explore your past because the way you feel hurt has to do more with that than him having a girlfriend. I can tell you have been trying to get his attention and get close because its how love feels for you. Its not a good idea to pursue anything with him)
