How to stop being toxic? How to stop hurting?
My boyfriend said he's empty because of me (I have anxiety, I self harm, I'm constantly sad and tell bad things about myself), he's tired, and has been hurt by all of this. He said he wants to push my words out of his head (that I'm suicidal, it would be better for him if we've never me, I'm the worst). He doesn't know how to help me. And that after he told me to tell him everything. Because he wants to know.
I'm trying to give him space. We don't see each other, I rarely write to him, and if, I'm trying to hide everything. But you know, he's been the only person that could get me feel a little better, I miss him. But I feel cold from him whenever he writes to me. How do I stop waiting for him to message me? How do I stop from hurting him?
I feel like I've been in a similar situation. Except that he ended up leaving me, he said he didn't want to have to worry about me anymore and that I only cared about myself...idk. Two months later I suddenly start feeling worse over it, but maybe I should continue distracting myself. After all, there's nothing that can be done...right?
I guess everyone has a threshold of care and comfort in them. Even I feel all spent, I find myself unable to be supportive anymore. I just kind of fake it nowadays.
