Hurt and lost
Im married, lonely and it feels like Im always crying. (Crying as I type this)
I really needed to talk to my husband (of 11 years) to get some weight off my chest. Talking never goes good. He will tell me its okay to come talk to him about anything and if I dont talk to him thats my own choice. Each time I go to him it always ends up in a argument and we end up living like roommates. I dont see him much due to his work schedule and when I do we are always into it. Its like were constantly going in circles on how to work with one another in this marriage. I dont have a group of friends to talk to... I only have a husband. He has no patients for me and hes not that nice to me anymore. No Im not the nicest person after Ive put my all into this man... love him like a wife should take care of him like a wife should all for him to treat me the way he does now. Ive fallen into this dark hole and Im struggling to get out of it. I use to didnt drink...but now I do. I even started smoking weed. All to just numb everything thats hurting me. I dont like the person that Ive become. I want the old me back without HIM now. I do still love him with all of me, I just dont feel his love anymore and I dont wanna live the rest of my life with a man that can never say things about me and dont want to have kids with me.
Sorry you're feeling so alone with all this, but im glad you reached out for some support. I went thru a similar thing, right down to the drinking and smoking. It took a lot of strength for you to reach out. Some of the best things you can do for yourself is to keep reaching out. Whether is online here or irl.
I hope you check out the chat rooms and maybe even find a good listener. Sometimes it just takes having someone to vent all the bad crap to to let you focus on the path ahead, to get some clarity. You're not alone.
Hugs if it's ok 🤗
@Sweetluv
my case is almost like your situation i'm single the only child of my parents these few days /weeks / months i've numbing myself like drinking 🍺 beer especially when i feel overwhelm i'm even worse feel like self harm + drinking sips of ⁴⁰% alcohol content volka which i don't drink previously what's more it hurts me especially my head is constantly on him i know he won't feel the same for me as he's a married man i've to confess that . since i know him , i started to pray for my parents / him / his family & myself some people here even judge me i'm a bad person honestly i don't have any evil intention want to break his family as i know he didn't complaint anything about his wife or children . just so 😨 that i might lose him a friend , if i lose him i don't know what i'm going to do ..... its like my world is full of darkness 😭 sorry for the long story 🙏
@Sweetluv
This sounds like a painful situation.
Girls and guys(men and women) communication is an age old problem almost no one gets it right including me. I could recommend stuff for you to read if you wanted to learn more about all of that. Some of it is interesting and some is boring.
I will try to offer some of the higher level ideas about how the communication works.
If you want to talk to your husband about something because your concerned or not happy about something then whatever you are telling him is negative. You don't mean it that way likely, but he does not read your mind, only hears what you say. And sometimes what you say is not exactly what you mean. Now another woman can quickly understand all of that and be able to listen and suggest.. Your man however, no... he hears the words you say, not the ideas behind them. And then he tries to fix it for you or if you are suggesting he change about something he will hear it as criticism no matter how good are your intentions.
Suggest for you... do not try to fix or improve him or the things he does for now. Let it be broken if it is. Just love him and let him know that you admire him just as he is. I mean, what is the point of fixing things if you two are not to enjoy it. Let things be broken.. who the heck cares anyway. Just love him and admire him and ask him to help you with SIMPLE things that require a man, such as opening the catchup bottle... Just step aside and let the weight on your chest fall to the ground, who cares... And then enjoy him when you see him. Trust me.. when you get old the same pile of junk is weighing on the chest and if you somehow solve it, other stuff will take its place. And no one cares. But the love with your man, now that can be something to enjoy.
Good Luck
