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So, Im 19 and am currently in a kind of relationship with my 20 year old best friend who is MARRIED. Let me start from the beginning. We met in junior year of high school and we caught feelings for each other, this lasted only around 3 months though before we both moved on and kind of drifted apart. Fast forward, middle of senior year he gets a girlfriend and they become serious. At this point me and him barley even talked. Then for some reason, freshmen yr of college we started becoming very close again. He started calling me his closest/best friend and we would FaceTime at least once a week - we never really saw each other since his gf wasnt comfortable with us hanging out/ she didnt know me. They ended up actually getting married & still nothing really changed between us.
This year though (sophomore yr), idk what changed but one day he called me and was like lets hang out tonight. Since that night, things started changing. I noticed he was very touchy with me, we shared lingering hugs, he started saying I love you. Things like that. Before I knew it hes confessing his feelings to me and Im confessing mine. BUT HES MARRIED and the guilt is eating me up. Ive gotten close to his wife this past month and that just makes me feel worse. We havent done anything really physical but he says very suggestive things & it seems to me that this is an emotional affair. How do I get out of this situation & is it possible to save our friendship?
I would say it's unlikely you can save both and that it's arguably too late. If you feel guilty, you feel you're doing something wrong. And there's nothing wrong with that!
But if you're becoming uncomfortable and feel it's become an emotional affair, it's time to extricate yourself. This sounds super messy and that perhaps your friend married far too young. That's on him, but that's not for you to help him figure out.
Good luck.
@desperatemeasures
If I were his wife, I would want to know. It might be hard, but I definitely think you need to tell her what has been going on. Although he didnt "cheat" per say, emotionally he did. I think telling her would be the best thing to do, as it is a moral action that can make up for any guilt you may have towards yourself, and it would be helping her either fix the relationship w the guy or move on.
Wish you the best in this hard situation.
@easyPlum226
Also, no, I don't think you can save the friendship. Maybe in a few months or years depending how the marriage pans out, but as for now I think it would be best to move on.