I cheated

Please someone help me I am so sorry about what I've done, please give a chance to read this. (This does not justifying the situation just explaining)

The month of our anniversary I felt very distant from him, this is our first relationships but there's many things he didn't know to do even tho like I told him and gave hints whatever. The day came to our anniversary and he didn't get me anything no letter no nothing and I brought him chocolate and a very cute note.

I did not give him the note since he didn't give me anything because I felt kinda embarrassed. (He gave me something future on)

Anyways I try to just forget it I guess it sucked, same month I went on his tiktok while he was sleeping BC I genuinely wanted to record a tiktok of him since my phone camera quality sucked and I saw a bunch of saved girls there. Fast forward the reason why they were there was so he'd know if I snooped on his phone whatever he apologized and that the the real reason.

At that time I felt super idk like I didn't believe him and I thought he didn't love me all that much (still not justifying)

So I go on Twitter and I start talking to this guy (lasted a few hours then blocked him) the point is I cheated I don't need to go into detail. I feel horribly guilty about it and I have been projecting my guilt on to him accusing him of looking at other girls and making him genuinely upset and I just realized I am being so toxic, I have been trying to forget and not think about what I did because right after I felt so guilty.

He loves me so fucking much and I know it may not sound like it but I love him so much you don't understand. and I feel like I'm being very toxic and he does not deserve to love me blindly like that so I am planning to tell him very soon.

I fucked up, I will literally let him have every password everything in my fucking phone just to have him. I feel disgusting and I don't know what to do I don't want to lose him. I know I should've thought about it before, but please someone help me save this..