I don't know if I love my partner

I've been with my partner for 4 years. Met at the start of college at 18, talked for a month and officially got together, and immediately after he became extremely ill. Near death levels of sick. Thankfully he made it through with a year of help and support from myself and his family. But he has a chronic condition that requires constant management and limits him from eating certain things, wearing certain things, and participating in certain activities.

Lately I've been thinking about how these days, I no longer get giddy feelings thinking about my partner. I don't feel that spark, attraction, that desire to be with him at any given time. I know people say feelings like that fade as you get into a relationship, but its concerning for a few reasons. 1) I still feel that way about fictional situations and other people. I get giddy thinking about love and falling in love and being with someone who maks my heart race. I get those feelings when i see other people on the street. I don't get them at all with my partner anymore. 2) The lack of attachment feels like its coupled with resentment. Because I cared for him while he was sick, and even when I wasn't I was extrememly emotionally invested while he was sick, I missed out on a lot of bonding, travel, and educational experiences in college. When I was with him, I couldn't be out partying, or meeting new people, or traveling abroad, and I would miss some conferences or clubs or things related to my major that interested me. Obviously he had it a million times worse he was the one who was sick and had to deal with all the issues related to something that awful. I would never in a million years say it was his fault because its not the case at all. I just feel sometimes that I missed out on a lot of my youth. 3) I moved abroad for school and I feel myself craving the freedom associated with that. I'm desperate for it. I want to be able to go out to a bar with friends, join organizations with young people like me, and I espcially want the excitement of being noticed romantically again. I never got that outside of a dating app, how I met my current partner. I want the experience of getting to know someone new and attaching to them and emotionally connecting with them in a way I feel like i can't connect with my partner right now.

I'm not sure if I simply don't know what love feels like or if i'm really wanting to end this relationship. If this is what love feels like and its just something i cant get used to because i'm restless or anxious because i just went through a big move or I romanticize fiction where people are always experienceing excitement with one another in relationships, then thats something I need to work on on my own. But if this is an issue where people who are in relationships do still get those butterflies years down the road and feel that strong attachment, and I don't feel that, then thats probably a bad sign for the relationship. I guess I don't know which it is, and I'm not sure how I'll figure that out. I want to know which it is and make a decision because i'm tired of being caught in limbo with my own feelings.

Also, I know he doesn't feel this way about me. He texts me every day, tells me he loves me, he wants pictures of me and he tells me i'm beautiful, hot, sexy, whatever, and always wants to talk. And i can't help but have it feel like an emotional burden right now. Which just makes it worse. I care about him,and I don't want to break his heart or blindside him if things do end. I don't know what to do.