I feel betrayed, resentment, lied to, and inadequate.

A girl I've felt that I've loved for the past 3 years admitted that she had feelings for me too, throughout the four times I had told her. Her reasoning for not being available consists of not being ready for a relationship and that we're one state away, meaning it'd be long distance. My problem with this lies in the fact that in the past 3 years she has dated two of my friends who aren't even in the same country. The two supposed reasonings for her never reciprocating my feelings towards her, they apparently never applied to others. I still adore this girl, I think shes the most beautiful girl I've ever seen with the cutest laugh and smile, but I can't help but feel angry. I often wish I had never met her, that I never gave her a second look, and sometimes I feel terrible for wishing it, but for a while, she broke me. And even now, I wonder what shes doing, or reminisce on the times we stayed up late, and then I remember how she swept me to the side each and every time she had gone back to the same guys. I feel shitty and ashamed that I've let this girl essentially free roam through my thoughts all this time, just to be slapped with this idea that she ever felt the same way about me.