I feel like im not enough for him
Hi, i want to share a problem in my new relationship (we've been together for 5 months). I have never been in a relationship before, he has some experiences but is not that experienced too.
He does not misses me when we dont see each other for a longer time and he always tells me, that he wants more time alone, cause he is lazy to hang out with me. He says that it does not mean he doesnt care for me, but i feel like it does. For example, his birthday is in a week and he says he want to spend it alone at home, not with me. Why? I dont understand.
I also feel like i am not attractive for him. When we're together, he does not need sex and is okay to not sleep with me, he tells me that cuddles and kisses are enought for him. But then, when he is alone, he has a problem with masturbating too much and watching porn. I dont understand, are the girls in porn better for him than me irl? Am I not attractive for him? He has some preferences in bed (for example tights), and when we sleep together, i most of the time wear them. When i dont, he does not have appetite for sex. Am I good for him only when i wear that? I am so confused and think, that im nothing for him, even when he tells me that he loves me and that im amazing. I dont know what to do and we've disscused this several times and come to nothing. He tells me that my thoughs arent right, that it is not like i think but he acts still the same. He is trying to reduse watching porn, cause even he thinks that it is not normal, but it is very hard for him. He also looks very often at girls, especially with tights and i feel very uncomfortable when he does that. Are other girls attractive and I am not?
Please help me.
Hey, I don’t know you personally but I bet you are not what you’re thinking to be! Keep your head up ok? In my opinion, there‘s no scaling to attraction, no rating. No one can say that you are not attractive, as everyone has other opinions on what is beautiful for them. As for your current situation, I don’t wanna say that this person doesn’t care about you or that you are not important to them. I cant really tell what I could do to cheer you up, but I’d consider talking to him and directly stating your worries. If you tell him to be honest with you and let you in on his thoughts vice versa, you’ll understand each other more. Communication is really important that’s all I can say.
please don’t consider yourself as not enough or as “not as pretty as them”, cause that’s probably mostly your way to see yourself, we always tend think that way of ourselves and tend to compare ourselves with other people, while there’s people out there, who think that you’re gorgeous once they see you. Whether those are close ones or strangers on the street.
i Hope I could help you in some way