I feel so alone
I’m not too sure where to start. Me and my partner have been together 3 years and we’re getting married this year.
The last few months have been so difficult. He’s been working way more hours than usual, I barely see him which leaves me at home, working whilst also looking after our 18 month old.
He doesn’t realise how tiring it is being on my own all day and sometimes all night when he has to stay at work to do night shifts. He’s befriended women at work which he sits there and texts when he is actually at home, but he doesn’t see the problem with that?
I know I’m paranoid, but honestly who wants their other half coming home when you haven’t seen him for 2 days and not talking to you but texting another girl? We had a huge row last night, we both said stuff we didn’t mean and he almost cancelled the wedding for the 3rd time this year.
I struggle with anxiety and depression and sometimes I just feel so numb all the time. He doesn’t understand how I feel, and I can’t explain it to him which makes him so frustrated. We barely have sex anymore because when he is actually home, I’m so mentally drained and also, side effects from my medication is that I have no libido and he just doesn’t understand that, he just thinks I’m not attracted to him anymore.
I’m so scared he’s going to leave me, and I don’t know what more I can do to make him happy again. Am I just overthinking?
@littleWalker868
Well , it does sound a little off but dont you think
1. Why is he working night shift , are day shifts not enough to make ends meet?
2. After doing all that work , does he not require something to refresh him or motivate him?
3. If he does not even receive intimacy his almost wife and had to use energy even at home to fight . Doesnt texting a girl that does require less energy sounds more peaceful?
With these questions you should be able to decide if you are paranoid because of him or is it related to you.
@littleWalker868
I'd like to first mention that it was very unfortunate that the first response to your post felt very ill-hearted like it was intended to invalidate your feelings. As a father who is doing my best to share the parenting load, my experience has been that putting in 15 hour days at work on my feet all day has felt like a breeze compared to the emotional and mental work put in to raising a child. I just wanted to say that I see you and your feelings are valid.
@littleWalker868
Navigating the challenges that arise in a relationship can be difficult, especially when work obligations take priority and leave you feeling overwhelmed. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about the impact their long hours and limited availability have had on you. Let him know that you understand he has been working longer hours, but also express how exhausting it has been for you to handle everything on your own.
Perhaps, try to find a time when you both can sit down and discuss your concerns calmly and share your need for support and quality time together. Try to express your feelings without placing blame or making assumptions. Let him know that you value his commitment to work, but also highlight the importance of balancing work and family life. Additionally, consider finding ways to create opportunities for quality time together, even if it means adjusting schedules or making compromises. This could involve setting aside specific times during the week to connect, going on a date night, or finding activities that you both enjoy and can do together.
I am sorry to hear about how this situation is making you feel. It sounds like it has been such a long time that is has been going on, a few months even, where you're feeling lonely as a result of your partner being away all the time. This must feel like a very difficult situation to deal with, especially because it is difficult to communicate with him how this is making you feel, while feeling understood.
I feel you and I can definitely understand how your partner being away all the time can make you feel lonely and wonder whether he still cares about you, especially if he is reaching out to other women in the meanwhile.
It sounds like you still care about him, and the fact that he is a bit worried about whether you are still attracted to him might show that he still cares about you. What are your thoughts on that? And how has your communication been towards him about these particular issues?
@littleWalker868
I wouldn’t want my husband to talk more to another woman than to me, so you’re not alone on that.