Impossible situation
So I work with my ex that I'm still friends with, and last week he told me he wanted to hook up with me. Since he's with someone else now, that kinda shocked me because he's not the cheating type. Apparently I'm "the one that got away" even though I wasn't the one who left FOUR times. I moved away a couple years ago partly to get over him once and for all. Moved back six months ago and realized that didn't happen because he started flirting and I found myself flirting back before I could stop myself. From what I gather, he's with this girl because he has nowhere else to go and he doesn't see any worth in himself so he sticks around with her and that group of friends because it's easy. If I tell him the truth, that I still love him and if he wants to come back he can as long as he's willing to fight for us this time and get the notion out of his head that he's not good enough for me, I run the risk of losing him even as a friend and he's the best thing that ever happened to me so I'm not willing to run that risk, but sooner or later it's gonna come to a head and that terrifies me. I lost my best friend last year so it's not like she can guide me through this one. I feel like leaving town again and moving far away but that's not the answer. This is so frustrating.
@AmeliaLauren
Let me summarize what you've said. You have a guy, in your workplace, that has a romantic past with you. He's told you that he'd love to cheat on his existing girlfriend, with you, and he's provided you a justification in doing so -- because, you're the one that got away. Although, when he had the opportunity to be with you, he left you four times. You moved away, to get away from him, but now you're back in town and apparently chose to work with him. He has low self-esteem and is with his present girlfriend, just because -- not because she's a great choice or because their relationship is better than what he's had, and if anything -- she's second choice. As he said, it's easy.
He wants to get back with you because he wants to prove to himself, that he's worthy.
Yet, you don't want to lose his friendship and getting into a relationship and it ending, certainly will end both.
You're wondering if you should leave town.
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Do you want to be with a man that makes romantic choices much like he changes socks?
Do you want to be with a man that is with someone, that he's not really into, but just because it's easy for him?
Do you want to be with a man that wants to get back into a relationship with you, not because he has intense feelings for you and wants to be with you for all the right reasons, but because he must prove it to himself and boost his ego and self-esteem?
Do you want to be with a man that cheats on his girlfriend, even if it's something new and not usually like him, but yet he's doing so anyway because he's justifying the option to you, somehow making it ok?
Do you see a strong, stable, and well connected future with a man that makes these kinds of choices with women?
Do you think that a relationship with him is going to be healthy?
Do you believe that this man is going to treat you the way you need to be treated, and respected?
Think about these questions as you're making a decision to get into another relationship with him. Sometimes, an ex is an ex for very good reasons. Perhaps those reasons are some that you shouldn't just ignore.
