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I’m stuck

User Profile: elizabetha101
elizabetha101 February 12th, 2022

So my boyfriend of a year and a half recently we have been fighting a lot this past month because he has been prioritizing his new friends. Our relationship is such a serious one that we were going to move in together and get married this summer. I’m about to graduate high school and he is 19. All of his so called new friends are high schoolers and I know the reason why he could be prioritizing them is because they are popular and he has always been bullied and never had a lot of friends like this. But still he is even very religious and always says how god has put us back together 2 times when I prayed for it and when he prayed for strength to get over me he says he never got it. But either way a few days ago he said he wanted to come over and talk after I was done with school. Then after school he changed it to he just wanted to call instead. So we did and he was telling me the reasons he didn’t want to be together like he feels like I don’t give him his privacy or freedoms. Because he wants to drink and vape and he doesn’t like that I tell him he shouldn’t as well as cause I have been complaining he’s with his friends always. And so I told him that’s it I’m coming over and I did. And we talked in person and I cried. And it seemed like we fixed it and he’s like yes I know we’re meant to be and everything and we will fix our issues. He was also like let’s hang out tomorrow. And so the next day we were going to but instead he texted me hey “hey I don’t want to cancel last minute so I’m just going to say it now I don't know if we can hang out today.” And he’s like “I’m not feeling the love anymore.” And I went on to say how different he was the day before and that he could have just sent me off then but why didn’t he? And there was something, a spark of some kind. And when I saying things like can we at least hang out and finish talking and try to fix our problems and stay together, and all he would say is I don’t know. And he even put crying emojis sometimes too which makes no sense. So finally I just say okay and if you don’t want to give us another chance then it’s fine but I want to still be together. And all he said is I don’t know. Basically now all he has done is changed his instagram profile to just him instead of me and him, deleted the highlight stories he had of me and him but hasn’t archived the pictures of me and him. And we have broke up before so I know he is the type of person to archive them immediately. But now we haven’t talked in 2 days since he last said I don’t know and I just said okay to that. He has still even kept his life 360 location on which is something he would also turn off. And all he does now is every single day he has been hanging out with his friends all night long till 2am or 3am. I just have no idea what to do because I’m thinking no contact is the best thing to do on this situation. But at the same time we’re not even technically broken up and I have no idea how this can be resolved if he always makes himself so busy and his friends can always hang out. Because it’s like when will we talk then and when will he have time to have regret and remorse if he’s always busy because of his friends. And I even got him something for Valentine’s Day a few weeks ago. I just I don’t know what to do because I still love him and he’s like a best friend too that I was able to talk about anything to. And now by this happening it seems all of my dreams about this summer that I waited for so long are being crushed. Please help😔

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User Profile: Cain96
Cain96 February 12th, 2022

I'm sorry you feel so strongly about him, but I think it's best if you move on and find someone who will cherish the time they spend with you. "I don't know" is not an acceptable answer to "Do you still want to be with me?" It sounds like he's not man enough to just be honest and break it off.

Also don't get married until you're at least in your 20's. Just because you can get married right out of highschool doesn't mean it's a good idea. I bet you he will be a totally different person at 25, (especially if he's experimenting with alcohol and pot) because you're both still maturing and figuring out who you really are.

Even after you came over, had an emotional conversation, 'fixed' everything; he still wakes up the next morning and says, "I'm not feeling the love anymore." Whatever. His loss. But I'm sure you will find someone else who will share a deeper, stronger love with you. You're not even out of highschool yet. You have nothing but time to find Mr. Perfect.

Best wishes, Cain


1 reply
User Profile: elizabetha101
elizabetha101 OP February 13th, 2022

Thank you so much for the advice.

how do I break it off? I texted him tonight saying. “Hey. We have two options right now. If we’re not going to work this out then we should break it off because there is no point waiting around.” And I know he’s been on his phone, he’s been on social media and everything and his life 360 shows he got off work and is off yet again all night with his friends at some random parking lot. And I don’t know if he turned off his read receipts but he has yet to say anything. I don’t really know what to do from here if he just isn’t answering. Nor is he deleting his social media posts of us.

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