I'm worried that I don't love my wife.
I'm worried that I don't love my wife enough.
I form emotional relationships with lots of other people, something I've tried to stop myself doing and I can't.
We got new neighbours a couple years back, and instantly I felt a bond with her.
All 4 of us hang out as a group, and we even went on holiday together.
Me and let's call her 'Jane' hang out a lot, and we flirt. A lot.
Over the two years, I've harboured a crush, but we have also become good friends, best friends really.
Her bf is preparing to propose to her, and everytime i think about it I get sad. Seeing the ring design gave me a panic attack.
Despite my feelings, I know they are in love so I've been taking her to the gym and stuff so he can sneak about to by the ring.
I love my wife but I don't feel 'in love' we don't have sex often and that's my choice. Whereas these feelings for my best friend are irrational and one sided.
I don't want to think with my dick (jane is very pretty) but I don't want to put it down to just that.
I'm worried that I use these bonds to supplement my relationship with my wife because I can't stay monogamous, we have been together 15 years and I've never cheated. Maybe I'm naturally polyamarous or I'm just an oversexed idiot.
I do love them both as friends, I know that much, but I don't know where any romantic feelings come into this equation.
My lizard brain tells me my wife is amazing and perfect for me, my heart tells me they both offer different but essential things.
I'm lost.
You need to take responsibility for yourself. You are not helpless. You are in control of the decisions you make and the actions you take.
You may feel some things towards 'jane', and become her best friend, but it is unfair on your WIFE to act upon feelings at all and mutually grow them with all go another. We all go through ups and downs in marriage. It feels like you've fallen out of love but perhaps that leaves space for a base love you already have that can grow. Or a different love. A love that is supportive of each other, intimate, caring, adoring of each other, the strengths you've bared in front of each other, the values you've loved and built together. They are there. Take stock and grow in a new direction. Do not take action with ANYONE until you have nowhere further to go with the human being who is your wife.
You leave first, you do not cheat. You do not ask permission here to cheat either. It is most definitely wrong.
@scarletCranberry3948
For some reason half my message got lost. I said that there may not be the love you used to have but you can grow together from a base love which may not have the characteristics of 'in love' but something beautiful and caring and deep. As I described above.
@scarletCranberry3948
Oh I've no intention of cheating, that was never on the cards.
I have feelings, unrequited and in all honest unwanted feelings.
My fears come from not wanting to waste my wife's time whilst I work out what I want.
I don't want to be the reason she never gets to have kids, because she was waiting for me.