I ruined a good relationship
I was in a friends with benefits type relationship with a friend from college and it’s was going great but I tend to get defensive and overact sometimes (I guess it’s trauma from past relationships I don’t know) but he always assured me it was ok…. So we have a couple arguments and the most recent one was him canceling on me last minute again. He had a history of doing this at this point. He initiated the date and everything and canceled saying work tired him out again. Now I understand work is work but he always tries to hang after work when he knows he’s tired…. I kinda blacked out and basically texted him “stop scheduling stuff after work if your tired it’s starting to piss me off” and later I apologized but it’s been a week and nothing yet but he’s posting on social media. We did like each other and we were working towards a relationship but it feels like he finally got tired of me and I feel like crap and it’s my fault.
Hello lilith, I’m Eraggon and I’m a listener here on 7 cups. Welcome to 7 cups. I’m sorry to hear that you lost a friendship that meant a lot to you, I understand that, it’s always hard to deal with emotions after a break up be it friendship or a relationship, and moments like these can cause us a lot of stress. I can see him cancelling plans at the last minute not once but multiple times, frustrated you, even I would feel that way if were in your shoes, and it looks like you ran out of patience this time after he kept bailing on you again and again, even when he was the one who initiated it?
I am truly sorry to hear what you went through, I can see that you were always understanding of him, being tired, but he was the one who insisted to hang out despite that and bailed. I can see why this would lead you to being angry, and text him that. We’re all humans and when our patience is tested time and time again, sometimes we do tend to run out of it and snap, and that’s ok, I completely understand what you’re going through, I have myself run out of patience and gotten angry when I felt frustrated on a few occasions.
I understand you feel that this had a future and you were looking forward to it, and things were looking up and that you’re feeling helpless, it’s been quite some time since he reached out to you, even after you apologised to him, fights happen and sometimes people withdraw to take time to themselves, some more than others. What do you feel you can do in this situation?
Do you feel there is a chance that thing’s might get better?
Do you feel it’s best to let this just be and wait for him to reach out if he does or you should try to contact him again hoping he might reply again?
Hi, it’s said you responded but I can’t see your message.
@Lilith7666 hello I apologise for that, I’ve replied again. The posted the exact message. Let me know if you can see that :)
@Lilith7666 Hello lilith, I’m Eraggon and I’m a listener here on 7 cups. Welcome to 7 cups. I’m sorry to hear that you lost a friendship that meant a lot to you, I understand that, it’s always hard to deal with emotions after a break up be it friendship or a relationship, and moments like these can cause us a lot of stress. I can see him cancelling plans at the last minute not once but multiple times, frustrated you, even I would feel that way if were in your shoes, and it looks like you ran out of patience this time after he kept bailing on you again and again, even when he was the one who initiated it?
I am truly sorry to hear what you went through, I can see that you were always understanding of him, being tired, but he was the one who insisted to hang out despite that and bailed. I can see why this would lead you to being angry, and text him that. We’re all humans and when our patience is tested time and time again, sometimes we do tend to run out of it and snap, and that’s ok, I completely understand what you’re going through, I have myself run out of patience and gotten angry when I felt frustrated on a few occasions.
I understand you feel that this had a future and you were looking forward to it, and things were looking up and that you’re feeling helpless, it’s been quite some time since he reached out to you, even after you apologised to him, fights happen and sometimes people withdraw to take time to themselves, some more than others. What do you feel you can do in this situation?
Do you feel there is a chance that thing’s might get better?
Do you feel it’s best to let this just be and wait for him to reach out if he does or you should try to contact him again hoping he might reply again?
