I've become dependent on my boyfriend and it's so lonely
I currently don't have many or any close friends and since I'm pretty shy I feel like I've become dependent on my boyfriend for a social life, I'm a teenager and yes it is important for me but I feel very lonely with his friends and I feel like they don't accept me. I don't like my boyfriend's habits as well because they're affecting me negatively, he smokes weed every single time he goes out with his friends even if he doesn't plan on it. So therefore I have to in order to see him right? It's really difficult to balance that and I'm also struggling with loneliness, I feel sad all the time and I don't know what to do... I don't feel like he really cares or understands me
You don't sound like being around him makes you happy. And you've already recognized that his unhealthy habits are negatively affecting you. You need to take care of yourself first! What would you tell a friend in this situation?
@JessicaMcDanielLPC
I can really hear how unhappy you are, not only because you're lonely but because in general, it sounds like your boyfriend has not been treating you the way that you deserve. For that matter, thank you for reaching out to us. It sounds like things would be extremely overwhelming if you handled them all by yourself. It is always easier to have someone to talk to :)
All in all, from reading what you have wrote, it sounds like you know that you're not happy. And if that is the case, perhaps it is high time for you to sit down and contemplate on what you want in life, your expectations, doubts, and so on. Perhaps through such reflection, you'll realize what your next step would be on what needs to be done to achieve happiness. What you're going through though, is perfectly understandable. It's easy to feel isolated when your boyfriend's friends do not seem accepting of you, and to top things off, it must be extremely hard to feel loved, like you belong somewhere, when your boyfriend has not been understanding. So it comes to the question of whether you'll be happier without your boyfriend? I know that it can be petrifying to feel like you'll be losing someone close, especially when you mentioned not having other social outlets to go to, but sometimes being by yourself is a strength in itself. It shows that you've got the strength, the resilience, to stand tall and fight for what you want. Even if it's not cutting negativity out of your life, how would it sound like for you to try and talk to your boyfriend once more about what is bothering you? Maybe from there you can gauge on what your next step should be. Just remember that there is nothing wrong with standing by what you value alright? :)
@sensibleSky3692
It sounds like not only are you struggling with loneliness in general, many causes of this can be attributed to your boyfriend's friends treatment of you and general behaviour, and your boyfriend himself. Becoming too dependent on anyone can be unhealthy, and being so dependent on someone who you feel doesn't care about nor understands you is even more unbalanced and unhealthy. You realize you're not happy and what is causing it, and now I think the question is what you feel you can do about it. It can be a terrifying thing especially in our teenage years to think about having to leave or change our current social situation or partners, but sometimes it can be a great relief and very important in personal development and happiness. I think it's important to remember that you won't be isolated without a boyfriend and his friends unless you allow it. You are in control of your life and making your happiness - or at least, avoiding and cutting out negativity. What have you thought about doing about it all so far?