Just need to rant
My current boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years and have practically lived together for most of that time. We started dating at the end of highschool and moved to the same city for college/uni so we moved in together. Long story short I love him very much and I know he feels the same but lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about how my life would be different if we had time apart. He's the only person I've really dated and I never have went out and actually partied or anything (not that this is my personality type by any means but it would be nice to be completely carefree). To make it worse, I can't stop thinking about a person I used to talk to. And I don't know if this is because I'm fantasizing being flirty and free with others or if I actually still might like them even though it was so long ago. We just started dating so young but it's so hard because he's my best friend and I do truly love him I'm just SO confused. I'm scared if I decided to move out and take a break he wouldn't take me back or trust me again and I really would like to have a future with him- I just can't stop these thoughts as much as I try :( has anyone else felt this? I feel like complete trash and I just have to bottle it up :(
Today was one of those days. Wake up in good spirits and someone comes along and tries to ruin everything you've built mentally. It's very hard to change the reactions of a person that had been set in there ways for years. So obviously it's very annoying when people come along and put all your hard work and new way of thinking to the test. Once one person tied to tarnish your day here comes the flood. Now you have all this old emotions and thoughts. It's a process and that is very true. Tomorrow will be better I just have to take it one day at a time.