Lazy and unmotivated partner
Hi my partner is lazy. She sleeps late at night around 4 am because she is playing games or on Instagram on phone. She has not done her thesis for 1.5 years now. We make plans the night before for groceries or going out and choose time to wake up and then she is does not wake up due to sleeping late. I really do not know what is the problem. How to motivate her.
@sensitivetortoise2208
Hey there, thank you so much for sharing.
I see that you think your partner is very lazy and unmotivated and you feel like the reason for that is her sleeping late.
It really sounds like a problem for you when all your plans get cancelled because she wouldn't wake up on time. I understand that she spends alot if time on her phone which causes her to sleep late and hence, the cancellation of your plans.
How do you feel about motivating her to go out by encouraging her to do something she loves when you go out?
Also, it sounds like you need to communicate your problems with her in a way that she understands.
Here are a few links that might be of help for you:
https://www.7cups.com/wiki/letter-writing-exercise-improve-communication-in-relationships/
https://www.7cups.com/sleeping-well/
All the best and take care! :)
You might just want to simply ask if everyone is okay...
You know, don't set a goal of "how do I motivate her?". More rather, "how can I understand what's going on in her mind right now?"
I can assure you that approach will yield better results. If you focus less on her actions and more why she might be doing them, and show an interest in her, she may come around.
For instance, is she procrastinating? Is she depressed? Is she okay? Is she bored? Is she satisfied?
These are the sorts of questions I would be asking to get to the root of the problem and help find a solution...