Lost and Confused
I have been seeing this guy for 2 months. As it doesnt seem very long the two of us have very strong feelings of love for one another. Recently he told me that he has been having extreme feelings of guilt and shame because he met someone before our first date and has been thinking about her. I told him it pains me but if he feels he needs to date her than he should because I dont want our relationship to be a regret. He told me he just needed time. Today it seems apparent that time isnt doing it. He told me he knows hes being stupid. He said shes moving in the fall so she couldnt be the one. He said he knows I have to be, but why does he feel that way? I told him that I am willing to either try to continue to work on us, possibly with some counseling. I said again that if he needs to try to date her then he should. I said that if you love something set it free and if it comes back its yours, if not it never was. I havent heard back from him. Its killing me because I have a feeling its because he is going to try to be with her. I know that this is what it should be because if he realizes I am the one its with his whole heart. But Im in so much pain. I feel so broken inside. I feel so alone and I dont want to lose him. I love him and my heart is breaking.
@LittleLouLou828 I've been through similar things and the most important thing I want you to understand is that NONE of that is your fault! He is emotionally unstable and he doesn't know what he wants. That does not mean that there is something wrong with you. For one thing saying well if she ain't the one, you have to be was a terrible thing for him to say to you. Honey that boy is confused, lost and an idiot. If you let him continue to do things like that then it is only going to bring your self esteem to zero and you shouldn't allow him to do that to you. There are plenty of other fish in the sea that won't make you feel like your on the Bachelor. His feelings are not more important than yours, you shouldn't sit around and wait for him to decide if he wants you or someone else, your not a back up plan! I commend you for trying to be understanding enough to do that for him but no never let a man make you his second choice when theres a guy out there somewhere that would kill to make you his first. Best Wishes!
@Carma7710
I absolutely love your response. Thank you!! I am seeing this as a growing opportunity for myself. I
@LittleLouLou828 you are very welcome. It will be a great opportunity for you to grow as a person as long as you stay focused on yourself! I hope things go well for you!
