Moving on from a toxic relationship
I just broke up with my fiance of 7 years, after realizing how controlling, manipulative and toxic he was for me. I know know I've made the right choice, but I still feel guilty for leaving him with nothing. He has no job, no place to live, and won't be able to see our kids due to self- harming behaviors he recently had. I don't know how to move forward with the guilt. I have spent so long thinking that our relationship was one way, and have now come to the realization that it was something completely different. I thought there was so much love, but there was just control and possession and movies behind everything. It hurts so badly. I feel so confused. Everyone's just excited that I'm finally getting out of this relationship, and I am too, but I'm also suddenly so alone.
@compassionateCat6824
Hello there!
We're so sorry to hear this and realize that you must be going through a really challenging time at the moment. Its easy to feel so many different things and feelings. That its certainly understandable that you would have conflicting feelings within yourself about what happened. Its also challenging when a relationship ends, (and you find that even though the relationship might've been a negative one) that you also find yourself feeling alone as well. And that is a normal, human emotion to feel. Its ok to feel what you are feelings. There is NO right or wrong way to feel about what you are feeling.
But one thing is to take a step back, and look over what you wrote, make a list of all the good and the bad/ the pros and the cons about the relationship. And take a whole-hearted look at whats in front of you. And ask "Yourself" and NOT anyone else, "HOW" Did that relationship make you feel about yourself?
We can only be responsible for "Ourselves" and Nobody else. You chose to make a good choice for yourself because you were tired of being in the position that you were in. You are Not responsible however for the other person. They are an adult and responsible for their own actions, choices, behaviors, and also their lively-hood (Job, career, place to live etc...)... They have to make the active decisions/choices to be in a better place for themselves. AND... to top it off, if there are 'Children" involved, then that makes YOUR choice even MORE important. As we know that children can't take care of themselves. They can't remove themselves from a negative situation involving their own parents. They need "stability, safety, structure. And most of all LOVE!.. You made a loving choice for your childrent to "remove" ALL of you from a toxic situation. And until the other party involved betters themselves and makes or shows some Improvement, then you have to think of whats BEST for all involved.
BEST of Luck to you and your children moving forward. I hope for you all that you are in a safe place. Things will get better. It may not seem like it in the moment But... they will!
