My cousin and I get along worse now that we
So,
This is my first thread thing on here and I'm a little upset to begin with. I live at home, and since my cousin graduated college she asked to room with me in the same super small room, and I felt bad cause I didn't want her to sleep on the couch, so I said sure, since I have a pull out bed. Fast forward to a few months later and it's like walking on egg shells. Our personalities don't mesh and it just felt like a lot, so I started sleeping on the couch every other day just to get a break from her. After this time we set up a room contract and I signed my part of the agreement, only to never see the paper again.
Now it's been quite a few months (6) since we've been roomies and I'm stuck on a semi re-accuring type of problem. I ask her for her work schedule (which is irregular and changes often) and it's met with resistance and anger.
I want to make this clear, I don't care what she does at work, for work, or with work, I just want to plan my schedule in a way that is both convenient for me and won't get in the way of her thing. It's much harder for me seeing as the pull out bed takes up pretty much all the floor space and she's a light sleeper, so waking up early gets me grumbles anyways.
Everytime I ask her she says I'm acting entitled, and that she's allowed to have days off. Im not trying to be impolite but her responses really tick me off and I don't know what I should be doing or changing to make the situation better.
@lightAcaichai
First, I want to say that you shouldn't lose your cool. Try to keep calm and collected in every situation and when she throws her anger at you if you can de-escalate the situation, you should; if not, walk away. If she grumbles at you for walking away let her know that you are NOT going to argue and you want to carry out a civilized conversation.
Now, I think you should be a bit stern when it comes to her grumbling and calling you entitled. Let her know your intentions so she doesn't hurl all types of insults at you. You and her sharing the room is a compromise on both of your parts. Also, although she is your family it is YOUR room. I think that she could be more humble and kind since you are accomodating her and looking for a peaceful solution!
If she won't listen to you and wants to continue to act like a child, I think you should get someone older than the both of you combined (if possible) and let them set things straight so she can't dispute it.
@lightAcaichai
This post is really relatable because if my sister and I are together for a long period of time, we get into fights and end up on bad terms. A while back I read a article on a piece of advice when your in an argument and the circumstances are a bit different from yours but I think you should read this article if you have time.
https://www.businessinsider.nl/psychological-technique-mirroring-mom-taught-me-changed-marriage/
Best of luck!
