Narcissists..help
Hello all,
I am not sure if this is the right place to post it but here it goes. I have been struggling lately after realizing that my dad and many of the people I have dated are narcissts...I have tried for so long to understand why and how people become this way and also what I can do to help a narcissist heal. That was until I realized I cannot do anything and that they do not want to heal. I understand my dad lacks empathy sometimes, pretends to care to get what he wants and uses people. He also does see himself as superior and rarely accepts blame unless he has to and only then to make himself look like a good guy it seems like.
But all this aside, I just wonder how can I tell how much of a narcissist he really is? Is there a spectrum? How much of my relationship with him was real?
Thanks please feel free to share your own experiences and thoughts would be helpful!
@loyalSugar8608
Going through relationships with narcissists is really tough, and it's a big step to realize that sometimes we can't help or 'save' everybody.
In regards to a spectrum, you can refer to this page as a starting point to look at more research, but the short answer is that "[N]arcissism is a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from a few narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder."
Concerning how much of your relationship with your father was 'real' - in my personal experience, I looked at it as the relationship was real, it existed, but it wasn't healthy a lot of the time. I couldn't 'prove' how much of their affections and general emotions for me during the relationship were genuine, so moving forward I simply appreciated the best of it for what it was and what it gave me, while remembering and learning from the worst of it. I'd spent some time trying to corrently label them with various personality disorders and figuring out to what extent they were something, but in the end, it didn't matter to me so much. What mattered was how I consistently felt and whether it was worth continuing that way or not, regardless of whether or not they could or might have changed.