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Negging - let

User Profile: AbbyHarris1976
AbbyHarris1976 August 18th, 2018

Lets talk about that nasty relationship trend called negging, which is a backhanded compliment intended to turn something positive into a negative. Some of you have even had it happen, so lets talk about it.

1. Have you ever been negged? How did you feel afterward and how did you deal with it?

2. Have you ever negged anyone? If so, did it work and would you do it again (I wouldnt agree with negging anyone, just so you know, but Im curious to know what people actually think when they do it)?

3. How do you think negging affects your relationships?

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User Profile: ReadBooksDrinkTea
ReadBooksDrinkTea August 18th, 2018

@AbbyHarris1976

1. I'd say yes, usually with strangers. I'm not always good at understanding the context or what is happening "in the moment" so I usally just sort of give them a look, say something just to respond, such as "Uh, okay." Then I continue on in my business, because I don't really care to talk to strangers, even if I've got a good "vibe" or conversation going.

2. Probably? It's not intentional and sometimes when I realize it's negative or something I apologize. Sometimes I'll be super-sarcastic about it and say that nah, that's not true.

3. With strangers there is no relationship. If it's someone I must see (like a customer service agent), I just put on an RBF because it's a business transaction and that's all our "relationship" is. With friends I'd say I don't do it intentionally and no one has told me about this, especially since they know I'm very dry and sarcastic with my humor.

User Profile: CalmingStar
CalmingStar August 18th, 2018

@AbbyHarris1976 Perhaps giving an example would help. :)

User Profile: AbbyHarris1976
AbbyHarris1976 OP August 19th, 2018

Here are some examples:

Youve got a great smile! Would you like some coffee? I can tell you like it because of the yellow stains on your teeth. - dating example

Nice, well-thought our presentation. It must have taken you months to rehearse. - workplace example

Excellent grade on your science test, Im surprised your teacher was able to read your penmanship, though. - family example