Never thought it was relevant but haven
As the title says, there is a specifical event of my life that I've always ignored but sooner or later I find myself thinking about it, questioning why and how it happened. It makes me feel awkward. It was from when I was like ten or younger. I come from a big family: two siblings, 5 cousins who live at the other side of the street. So I lived my infancy playing with all these children (males), enjoying every moment of it. Growing up I started spending more time with the older one of my cousins, who is 5 years older than me. I remember we used to listen to music, play videogames etc. and we were having fun, actually. Then – I don't how, when, why, as I said – I remember that one day, while we were playing with this Nintendo thing, he layed over me. I was just a young and innocent girl and I thought it would have been more comfortable for him to help me play, if "sat" in that way. But then he started putting his hand on my butt right under my underwear while rubbing his body against mine. He didn't do anything more. But it happened more than once, each time with me feeling worse. It felt good spending time him but I felt like if I wanted to be his friend and keep playing with him, I should have endured those moments. I don't precisely remember how everything ended, but I think I decided not to spend anytime alone with him anymore. I never talked about it with anyone except for a little friend of mine who at that time told me it was weird and nothing more.
As years passed, I ignored this event. I always thought it was nothing important: maybe he only felt the ormonal mess that comes with puberty and needed to vent it, being 14-15 y.o... But he used me, his little cousin. And now when I find myself thinking about it, I wonder if, just like me, he remembers those things. The discomfort.
And I wonder if there
@faithfulTurtle253 I'm sorry this happened to you. No girl should have to endure this kind of shit, but sadly, a vast number of girls around the world have been victims like this. Maybe you didn't want to give it importance, and that's normal cause that's a way of blocking those feelings that take you to that dark uncomfortable place, but of course it is relevant. You were molested and that leaves an emotional and psychological scar whether you are aware of it or not. You should definitely talk about this with someone, especially a therapist if you can, to help y ou put the words to those emotions and hopefully cope with it better.. Being open about this will give empower you. You're not alone. Also, don't let anybody ever tell you that your feelings are not valid or that you should just 'get over it'... only someone with very little empathy, an abuser or an accomplice would dare say this.
As years passed, I ignored this event. I always thought it was nothing important: maybe he only felt the ormonal mess that comes with puberty and needed to vent it, being 14-15 y.o... But he used me, his little cousin. And now when I find myself thinking about it, I wonder if, just like me, he remembers those things. The discomfort.
And I wonder if there