Newbie needs Advice (long post)
You can call me Ember. Nice to be here, really need advice or courage, not sure which yet. My relationship is LGBT, so if you don't agree with it or don't have topical advice, please just don't answer.
I am a 23(f) , my fiance is a 21(f). We are both polyamorous, and have discussed what that means at length, although we haven't actually gone out and went on a date with another person yet. Poly for us looks like one of us dating another person, not both of us dating the same person. My fiance is asexual, while I am not. I am 100% okay with that, and will never force her to do anything.M y relationship with her is rock solid, and not the one im worried about.
I have this friend, 24(m). We've been friends for over 5 years. There was a conversation we had 8 months ago, where we were talking over ***, or the phone I don't remember, and I told him I liked him. He didn't immediately say anything about that. I told him that I and my fiance was poly, and I had already talked to my fiance about him, and she was fine with it. I told him I didn't want to ruin our friendship, so if me saying I liked him was as far as anything would get, I would be fine with it. The conversation ended there, as he said he needed to think about some things before he got back to me.
He texted me a couple of days later saying he was drunk and wanted to send this while he's got what it takes to say it, that he liked me too, and wants to go out with me very badly as well, but that he's figuring some stuff out in his own life, and had mixed feelings. He wanted to talk about this at some point. I asked him the next day if he remembers what he sent to me, and he said yes. That's as far as I took that conversation.
We've been the same friends since, and I don't want to lose that. However recently my thoughts have been turning to him more and I don't think I can ignore them anymore. To make things even more complicated, in the next few years I'm planning on moving into the house he has with his dad to help run their Air BnB. It's a whole mish-mosh of complications and I don't know what to do. Please help. If you have clarifying questions, please don't hesitate to ask.
I think you should go for it, if it makes you happy.
@EmberAndAsh
Hi Ember, it sounds like you're in a bit of a tough spot. It's understandable that you're feeling conflicted about your feelings for your friend and your desire to maintain your friendship.
Communication is key. It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about your feelings and concerns. Let him know that you value your friendship and don't want to do anything that would jeopardize it. You can also discuss boundaries and expectations if you were to pursue a romantic relationship.
Take things slow. If you do decide to pursue a romantic relationship with your friend, it's important to take things slow and be mindful of your fiance's feelings. Make sure to have open and honest communication with her about everything.
Consider the potential consequences. Moving into your friend's house to help run their Air BnB could make things more complicated if you were to pursue a romantic relationship with him. It's important to consider how this would impact your friendship and your living situation.
Be true to yourself. It's important to be true to yourself and your desires, but also be mindful of others' feelings and expectations. Take some time to reflect on your feelings and what you really want out of this situation.
Remember that there's no right or wrong answer, and ultimately the decision is up to you. Just make sure to communicate openly and honestly with everyone involved and take things one step at a time.