Not wanting to go "all in" but we have kids together.
IDK what I'm looking for other than perspective. I left my fiance 4 years ago. TBH, I wasnt happy and it took 4 years to realize I wasn't happy with myself so he wasn't the full reason I decided to leave. It would be easy to let go and never look back if him and I didn't have kids. The breakup was mutual, though he didn't like it much. He said he didn't want to beg me to stay because it's not his decision. So 4 years of "finding myself".... 4 years of realizing, yeah, I was the toxic one. It took someone stalking me after giving online dating a try to realize, he honestly wasn't that bad of a boyfriend. I didn't want him back, it gave me a whole new way of looking at things from the outside. Due to the coronavirus, having no job, and no other place to go, I asked if he could take the kids. I was going to live in my car. He took the kids and asked me to stay as well. We've been here a month. The kids are happy we're all living together again. We both have grown up tremendously. I find myself wanting to work it out with him and be a family again. There's no "romantic love" there. We work well together as a team. I will always love him unconditionally. We've known eachother 10 years and have only had 2 screaming matches. The only reason why I want to work things out with him is because we have kids together. There has been a huge shift in their personalities since we moved back in. There's more laughter than tears. It's going to rip them apart again once this is over.
I realize that this person has left 7 Cups, aka deleted their account, but I'm going to answer this one anyway for anyone else that may stumble upon it and have a similar situation.
It seems to me, after reading what you've put together in a paragraph, that you've managed to come back together as a team through a hard realization using self-reflection, and now you're back but clearly going to do things differently than before. To me, this sounds as if you've matured through a process that you endured. To me, it sounds like the team that you're in is working and while you may not call it lovey dovey, there is an underlying love between you that is evident, more than likely present, because it has allowed you both to rekindle what had once went completely off the rails.
While it's hard to fathom what you had to experience in order to appreciate what you had and now have, the journey is still going and there will be far more lessons to be learned, hopefully together as a family.
I hope you and your family find much happiness together.
Love is not like it is in the movies. It comes in many different forms, many different methods of expressions, and is developed out of time, experience, thought, and actions. Clearly, you've discovered that the hard way, but none the less, you found what you needed all along and it was right in front of you the whole time.
