Online Relationship not going to work?
I need some advice... Im wondering if anyone can help... Idk if I should break up with someone I love online. We been together 2ish years and have never met but talk every day/ call and are really close/ would consider ourselves best friends. We both really love each other and I want the best for him but we are still both young and havent met in person yet... idk how much longer I can wait until we do. We live across the country and our relationship doesnt really have direction to when we will see if it can work in person... it could be at least 3 more years to see if I can meet him and Im going off to college while hes still in highschool. So Im unsure emotionally of my ability to do college and be in a relationship that Im questioning since theres no direction. I dont really like the relationship since theres no direction and I could be waiting for it eventually not to work out anyways... but I love him as well. Help?
Hi! I'm sorry that you have to face this choice, it must be very hard. You obviously mean a lot to each other, your mutual support, care and affection is really important to you. Every relationship has obstacles and difficulties, that's normal, but at some point we need to ask ourselves if a relationship is taking from us more than what it's giving. In other words, if the difficulties of your relationship are growing too big and overcoming the joy it can give. Both choices - breaking up and continuing your relationship - will require some sort of sacrifice, while providing you benefits of a different type. The question you need to ask yourself is which sacrifice is worth making, and which option is the one that gives you what you truly need to be happy. At the end of the day, your happiness and your inner peace are what truly matters.
Remember that, whatever choice you make, nothing keeps you from keeping in touch as simple friends, if you think you can do it. And remember there's no right or wrong decision, only you know what can really make you feel better in the long run!
@Aayla
hey thanks so much for your reply and the time you took outta your time to help. I appreciate the advice. I was just devastated thinking that I would never get to talk to him again as friends if I chose breaking up... do you think after taking some time off and reconnecting once in a while as friends would be healthy? I just dont want either side to be jealous if one of us finds someone else... Im thinking in the future if we are still friends and one of us gets another SO then they wouldnt appreciate finding out that their SO is talking to a previous EX as a close friend... Its a sticky situation to be in
@proactiveSquare8077 this sort of things work differently for everyone... There are people who find it too hard to stay friends after a relationship, and people who manage to keep a healthy friendship relationship. It's all up to you to try and find your own balance, and it's entirely possible that you will find a balance that fits you, with time. Maybe it won't be easy at first, but you can figure it out together - perhaps you can contact each other less often, or do anything else you believe might help you to set a new boundary. If you're both determined to maintain a healthy friendship, there's a good chance you'll succeed!
As for your future partners, I personally believe that if there is a bond of true trust in a relationship, they can understand why you're still in touch as friends with an ex and trust you with it. Of course that are some people that are more jealous and potentially more sensitive to this, but in general, relationships are based on a sort of trust that can overcome this kind of issues. In any case, a decision on whether to break up or not should not be based on fears for the future, just on what is best for you now. I wish you good luck with it!
@Aayla
one of your last sentences got me thinking... Im unsure if Im making the breaking up choice because of what will happen in the future. Im content right now in the relationship, hes not doing anything wrong. One of the main reasons I was thinking of breaking it off is Ill go off to college in couple months and wont have any time for him as Id like in a relationship... and itll be easier to break it off now then find out it wont work at college to break it off while trying to keep up with work... Im unsure if this is a valid reason to breakup
@proactiveSquare8077 I hope it will work out for you i was in a online relationship for a few months but due to circumstances i had to break it off due to parents not being supportive of the relationship it was hard but my feelings went away over time.
@proactiveSquare8077 only you can decide what is a valid reason to break up, there are no universal rules! If you wish to go to college without being "burdened" by a relationship that can be hard at times, it's your choice. If you're happy with him and you wish to give your relationship a chance, see how things goes and consider later whether you can make it or not, that's another valid choice. Probably it's just about deciding what criterion is most important for you to follow - all options have pros and cons. I'm sure you can make the best decision!
