Open Relationship
Tonight is my wife’s first date with another man. I’m super anxious and nervous about it. We both agreed to it and discussed it.
@JeremyB1984
why did you agree ? to spice things up or other reasons?
why i am asking is i have asked for an open relationship with my spouse since he is unable to rise to the occasion to put it bluntly and no meds possible because heart issues ...... thought it was a reasonable request ................... but most people freak out at the mere idea.
I agreed because I have trouble rising and with size. I wanted her to be pleased
@JeremyB1984
Understandable that you would be anxious. Sounds like something that you two talked through first. Curious did she initiate the request or was it something that you were wanting as well? Did you set any rules or guidelines? How did she find the person that she is out on the date with? Is it someone that she knew already? Thanks
So. She actually initiated the request. I was hesitant at first but after several long talks I agreed. We set many guidelines. It’s strictly physical not emotional. I won’t text or call very much so as to not interrupt the date. And she can pick but I have to approve. There are several others. She found him and it’s a mutual friend she met at her work.
@JeremyB1984
Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you put about alto of thought and caring into this. I am interested in how this works out. My wife and I have discussed opening our relationship in the past but did not chose, at least at this time, to open things up although we have gone to a strip club together and a nude spa together a few times.
@JeremyB1984
i applaud you in at least giving it a try to make her happier wish my spouse would see taht ... he just feels it was the card we were dealt and if he can't anymore i should find a hobby....
She had a blast though. It was worth it to see her smiling face when she got home. She was smiling while telling me all about her night.
@JeremyB1984
Sounds like it went very well. It's good that you two are able to share and talk about ... everything. Is it bringing you two closer? What if anything is next?
Well. We have been talking about it and she says she wants to do it again but maybe with another person. So tomorrow we are going to put together a *** and Bumble account. We aren’t sure if he will get a second date but it’s not out of the question. He definitely treated her well and she had a lot of fun. Lots to talk about and I can tell she really likes it. I wouldn’t be opposed or surprised if she goes out with him again. And I can’t stop thinking about the stuff they did on her date and how much fun she had.
I think that's cool. Definitely good that she wants to see others and doesn't see one person too much so that emotional attachments develop. That was an issue my wife and I talked about when we considered opening things up. Does it excite you to know and hear about your wife with another man?
Yes. It’s very exciting. To hear the things she did and he did. And to see and hear how excited she is just telling me makes it even more exciting and fun for me.
@JeremyB1984
I can see that. Tell me more about the things you worked out and what the next steps will be. Interested in the rules that you two agree on to make it work. How often do you think she will "date". How does it affect the time you two spend together and your intimacy with each other, Thanks.
Well. It’s a lot to type out. Basically it’s the understanding that this is strictly physical. Not emotional. She gets to make the call when to stop and mostly who she dates. I get to voice my concerns but if she feels strongly then she over rides my vote. We are still working out the sex agreement. There’s been mostly foreplay but no actual penetration yet. And our next step is she is finding another date.
@JeremyB1984
Thank you for sharing. It's neat that you want her to be pleased and that you are generally happy when she is. Do you ever get a little jealous? Do you have any rules for how often she dates another person or how many dates she has with the same person? Sounds like she is seeking the physical enjoyment but how does she know emotionally connections won't develop?
Hey @JeremyB1984, I hope you're well now. Acceptance and coping up is key to every human problem, as you've agreed to the arrangement, don't feel like you cannot dissent. I'm not able to advise you but communication is key for every relationship, don't let yourself down just to please.