Overthinking my relationship
I (F18) was on the phone with my boyfriend (M18) and i asked him if hes not used to being with someone like me and he said "yeah", then I asked what were his previous 2 exs were like and he said 1 was ghetto, while his ex-ex was nice, but her mom didnt want her in a relationship, and he found out from the his ex's friends that shes still heartbroken and he feels bad for making her sad. Then he tells me "if it werent for that, you and i wouldnt be talking right now." Then i asked "would you dump me for her if you wanted to?" and he said "no" then asked me "how would you react if i did?". I told him "id be really hurt and im now feeling like that everyone that ive fell in love for has always found a way to make me feel bad about myself and apart of me wants to give up on love." Ive known him since we were sophomores in high school, hes waited 3 years for me, and i finally returned his feelings in March 2019. I know im too young to feel like this and its only been 5 months but i want a future with him.
what should i do? am i overthinking things and taking them too personally?
@moonstones14 i am not sure what kind of advice to give but i hope your able to slove what ever it is your struggling with in your relationship
hi I really want my ex to give me a second chance. i wish he would just get over his ego and give us a go. I have never felt so sure of anything in my life. also he sent me a photo of a girl why would he do this. he is 40 after all.
I understand your worries, but think about this: he's been completely honest with you, why would he do this if he planned to do something wrong? I believe that it's ok to have someone special in our past that will always have a place in our heart, but it doesn't mean we can't move on with our life and find love again. He waited for long to be together with you, and he has opened his heart to you. If I were you, I'd try to give him trust. Of course it's ok to feel a bit worried and if you do, you can talk about it again and try to clear things up about what he truly feels, for her and for you, maybe talking face to face. Dialogue is the best way to overcome any relationship issue! I hope you'll soon feel confident and serene again.
@moonstones14
Hi. I'm an overthinker too, yay us! Haha.
I'm a possesive lover. I want that person for ME. I've read studies that say people can love more than one person at one time. When I saw that, I nearly freaked out: WHAT? I want that person to love me, only ME. Of course, some people do get over their exes, and some don't. However, I don't think you should worry about this because it does not matter. He is committed to you and he is in a relationship with YOU. What's the big deal with having a past love that he is not acting upon? At the end of the day, he is showering YOU with his love and time. As long as you are satisified with the relationship and he is treating you with the respect, love and attention you deserve then there's no need to stress. He expressed what could have been in an alternate universe, but today's reality is that he is with you. If someone wants to cheat or lie, they won't need someone from their past, they will with anyone. And you can't fully love someone if you don't trust them. Additionally, a lack of trust can cause hurt feelings.
Just a piece of advice for the future: never ask about exes, let the past stay in the past.
Best of luck to you both :)