Poor stress management
For a while now I've been absorbing my boyfriend's negative emotions for about a month now, and I have to say I've never felt more depleted and fatigued ever. I grew up around a mother with BPD and all my life I've been hypervigilant about the emotions of the people around me, I feel responsible for what people are feeling and I feel as if it's my personal responsibility to help them or make their problems go away.
I don't know how to handle my own stress or anxiety (yes, I go to therapy since 2020 but it hasn't helped 100%), and I feel like by absorbing his anger and stress I'm just in a state of overwhelming emotions that make it very hard for me to concentrate and do what I have to do every day.
We've talked about how the stress from his job is trickling down into our relationship and he always expresses how so many things make him angry. His job, inflation and how expensive everything is, traffic, and whatnot... he gets angry and stresses out about almost everything. He has a lot of energy and working out has been very good for him in the past, it helps manage his anger but with all the work he has, he hasn't been able to work out lately.
I'm so tired of not knowing what to do, how to feel, what to think. I feel overwhelmed but numb at the same time. My head feels foggy and my emotions feel all jumbled up. You know how everyone looks at a couple and thinks they're perfect? That's how people around us see us, but they wouldn't believe how hard living together is.
I'm just venting and it did make me feel a bit better, but I'm open to whatever comments, recommendations, etc, etc, you guys have. Thank you :)
Sorry to hear. Relationships are always hard. The only suggestion I have is to try to find some separate activities that help you blow off steam so you don't take it out on each other. My partner also has ADHD and exercising definitely helps a lot. But it also helps me a lot.
But yeah, only thing I can think of is carve a little bubbles for yourselves. Personal space is very important in relationships I think. That, and communication.
@adventurouscapybara
You recognize yourself as a people pleaser and have experience with BPD... you have stated working out has helped in the past for him...
there is a bunch of crazy going around IMO and seems like fr too many are stressed out .... Making the time to workout of even if it is at home can help you both blow off steam and get your body moving helps MOST things including what you are describing.
