Putting Holes in Happiness

Hey, I just joined this site but I could really use some insight on my relationship situation. I have this gnawing feeling that it's not the healthiest but I'm not sure what to do or how to take better care of myself while I'm trying to sort it out.

For starters, my SO and I recently moved across the country together with two pretty heavy sets of baggage and little else. I have a bad case of depression and PTSD from a series of unfortunate events. He's been neglected his whole life and has struggled with drugs on and off. Part of the reason we moved is that he couldn't stop and almost died.

Now things have changed. I love this man and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. Lately though, he seems to tolerate my presence on a good day, or just straight up can't stand me. My depression annoys him. He chews me out every day for crying too much amd being too everything. I feel rejected, unwanted, and unloved. I try to talk to him, very carefully, about how I feel, but he just blames it all in me and says it's bullshit. I'm tired of feeling like my needs don't matter. There's no sex, little affection, no fun, and every conversation makes me nervous. I just wish things could be the way they were before. I want the man I met back so badly. I want myself back too. Any advice or thoughts would be super welcome. Thanks for reading.