Reader, I googled her

It's not what it sounds like. I'll explain.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up in May. He was a good person, but he had a lot of latent resentment against women due to his unusual upbringing (mother had a mood disorder). I have the lucrative career that subsidizes my artistic endeavors; he has the morally pure, low-paying career. He initially said he wanted kids; then he didn't. That, in addition to him petulantly giving me the silent treatment for something I said, is why we broke up.

Shortly before he met me, he had a month-long physical and romantic (I think?) relationship with a woman who ghosted him. He never understood why she ghosted him; it hurt him deeply. I finally looked her up, and I kind of get it. She's an organizer — I won't say what area of focus — and as such is EXTREMELY BUSY. She doesn't wear makeup, she's constantly out meeting the people affected by the policies she's trying to change. She's not a dilettante from the suburbs, like me. All of this makes me see why he would have liked her; but the truth his, his temperament is and has always been so basic, so blatantly flawed by his TRL-millennial suburban misogyny (compounded by his tendency to treat women like invalids) that it never would have worked with her. It's obvious to me from a cursory look at her world that she would have been too busy for that. Whereas I wear makeup, I do the things. He was able to overlook my lack of lefty bona fides because, deep down, he cares about political purity less than having a woman with a gentle, submissive disposition. Of course, I'm not really that woman either.