Relationship Issues
Hey everyone. I have been with my now fiancé for almost 9 years and we are going to be getting married soon. I have been struggling with my relationship with her and we fight almost every single day. This past year has been one of the hardest on us as she had extensive leg surgery and has developed severe complications from it. On top of that, she lost her father suddenly and that has also been extremely tough. I don’t always handle certain situations appropriately and I often make things worse by just speaking to speak without really thinking about her and what she is going through.
She feels I don’t truly listen to her and her feeling ignored is a major tigger for her. I do want to change and to truly be there for her but my thoughts/emotions don’t match up with my actions. I really love her and don’t want to lose her but something is just not clicking.
How can I figure this out and really get to where we once were?
@brightTortoise145
Hi, what i thought about is if you always say something but don't do it, try to find a time when you both have a good feeling, tell her about what you think about, tell her that you love her a lot, you don't want to lose her, huge her if you want, and just make her happy. Find a day that you think you will try to listen to her and don't quarrel. See how it feels like, cause you will like the day that you get along in harmony with her. Your behavior(action) might change unconsciously. I hope this could help you, have a nice day, thanks.
Hi. I will try to say something that can helps you in any way.
I have read you and your fiancé used to argue. Maybe is was just for weeks, days, just a period of your relationship or, it is always? Maybe you both have to take a moment for chatting, talk about lot of things that worried you, open your heart. Maybe you can find what happened or what think the other one. You want to help her, right? Be by her side. So, be by her side. She will notice that.
She is struggling with a lot if things right now and I can imagine how hard is to lose someone, and have health problems too. Just be by her side.
I don’t know if I can help you.
after certain situations you just dont feel the same about a person anymore
@brightTortoise145 I am really sorry to hear that. It must be tough for you and her at the same time. Her health issues and the death of her father must have caused her a lot of emotional distress. I can see that you understand that and want to be there for her but fail to do so. The main factor here is that you love her and want to stick to her through this tough time.
Listening to her more than saying things to her is what might help as she is not in a good enough state to understand what you are trying to accomplish. Showing kindness and affection through this tough time is what is direly needed.
Relationships take a lot of work but if you love each other truly, i am sure you two will work your way through this.
