She's not making it easy to improve
My girlfriend and I have hit a serious rough patch. A week ago I had violated her trust by snooping on her computer. I didn't find anything bad, and felt so bad afterwards that I told her immediately. She all but threw me out of her house, and didn't really talk to me until Tuesday. On Thursday we talked and she got within seconds of leaving me. I talked her out of it, by getting her to agree to let us take our relationship just a day at a time. I agreed to take this all at her pace , and give her as much time and space as she needs. She means the world to me, and I want to prove to her I mean to make things up to her. We've been together for 2 and a half years, and I dont want to lose her. Since we talked I try to message her as I normally would. I still send her cute pics of things she likes, and try to message her as you would a girlfriend. She's only responding in 1-3 word responses, and seems to be pretty often ignoring me. I understand she still needs lots and lots of time and space to get to trust me again. I'm willing to give it to her. I don't want to lose her, without knowing I tried to fight to fix things with her first. She hasn't ended things with me yet, but it doesnt seem like she is gonna make any effort to keep them going either. It hurts a lot. I want to give up so bad, but I love her. She told me in our call that she's not sure how she feels about me anymore,and that she initially latched on so hard at the beginning of our relationship, because she was afraid she would'nt find anyone else. I told her that even if she did at the beginning , she stayed until now for some reason. She still shows obvious care , interest and concerns for me. Im.not sure what to do at this point
Snooping into her computer could've meant you don't trust her but that doesn't mean she should treat you that way, it's just a computer. So she could've showed you signs that led you to snooping in her PC. The way I see it, she may not be interested in you anymore and probably wants a break up, or she could have someone she's giving her attention. Ask her to be honest with her intentions with you for the future. It might not be what you want to hear, but you can't be with someone who isn't willing to forgive you or worse, be honest with you. You can have the heartbreak, but you will be able to move on in due time. Remember this, its just a computer, nothing serious
@AnemoTiger,
you violated her privacy and didn't seem to trust her. I totally understand her reaction. Giving her space means, give her space. Don't initiate any kind of contact, as in, no contact initiated by you. Let her make a move. And yes, that might mean that you went too far. Nothing you can do about it. By reaching out you'll only make her feel that you're not holding yourself to the agreement to give her space. You'll only prove to her you are not a man of your word, and you might considered to be needy and making her feel like she is being suffocated.
I've been there, I know it can be hard to give her space, but do. If you respect her, do.
I've been cutting down messaging her, sending very few and letting her take the lead in conversations She's responding more and isnt rejecting my attempts at trying to make things up. There's no flirting or being cutesy yet, but that's ok. Things are slowly improving
The only leading questions I've asked her is a couple of questions pertaining to a subject she had mentioned a few minutes beforehand, and asking how.she slept. I'm letting her take the lead in conversations, and when there's lulls in the chat, I dont message to fill them in. She actually initiated the longer messages since I put up this post, and I consider that an huge improvement