Single With No Friends
In the last five years, will be 34 in January, I've always been dreading my birthday. It reminds me that I'm all alone, with no friends or boyfriend. As I get older each year, I'm more and more afraid of what my future holds. The one and only relationship I've ever been in was back in 2006 and only lasted for a year. I thought I had a best friend I've known for 12-15 years, but I ended up having to cut-off our friendship a few years ago. It was too one-sided, and I was getting tired of being the only one who wants to keep our friendship alive. She didn't even try to make changes or want to keep it going.
It doesn't seem like there anyone out there who will understand and accept someone with depression. They all end up turning their backs on me the moment I start to reveal my true self to them. Or they don't take it as a serious issue and easily brush it off. Back to what makes me so afraid of my future. When my family leaves this world from old age, being the youngest, I would be the last. With no friends or significant other, no one will ever know that I'm gone. No one will remember who I am. I would be all alone to the last breath. Now, every time January comes, I'm usually quite depressed. Thinking about my life and my future. Back when I first started with these thoughts, I was usually depressed for about two weeks, a week prior to my birthday, then a week after my birthday. As the years progressed, the depressive time frame kept extending. This time around, I'm already feeling depressed and sad 4 weeks prior to my birthday~
@Jaeteuk
it must be really tough for you to have nobody to lean on, rely on, or talk to. know that although the community here on 7 cups can't replace true friendship, we are your companions and we will try to help you through every step of your journey. there will be brighter days, I'm sure of it.
sending love
happy new year x
It's tougher when I feel that I'm experiencing all this on my own. Although I live with my parents and brother, I cannot talk to them about what goes through my head and what thoughts I have about my life. They had never been much of a support throughout my depression either. I do have goals in life, things I want to try as a career, I just wish there was someone to share that with. Going through obstacles alone, I had many instances where I just want to give up. I've got no more hope left when it comes to having a good friendship or being in a relationship. I have someone that I turn to for advice, she's like a big sister to me. She tells me many times before, that relationships happen when you least expect it. I do want to believe that, but I also feel that something like that won't happen at all in my life!~
@ithinktheresmorethanthis
@Jaeteuk I'm technically not single but taking a "break" because I think I've traumatized him with my recent hospital stay. Then I've just been so depressed or panicky or childish that he says he feels trapped.
I've been a stay at home mom so I'm not too good at being independent. I have a couple friends that I rarely see. Now I have to do online school, work, and get a car. In the meantime I'm at my moms house, far away from my husband and children and real home. I'm so overwhelmed, lonely, and afraid but also bored.
So right now I can probably relate to some of your feelings. Some things that people have told me have helped. One thing is my cousin told me life is very forgiving and to utilize the internet or anything as distractions.
Workout. He also said; Lay back and relax when he saw that I'm not sitting in a comfortable position lol... Dont be afraid to reach out to people online.
Also a big one is don't see life as over or as things starting over!
Look at all the progress you've made and see your worth and abilities. Take it one day at a time.
I'm a stranger but I care and feel for you. (I'm new to this site so I'll try to check for responses). I hope I didn't break any rules or etiquette here. I also hope I make you feel better instead of worse.
Just know your kind of people are out there. We are just the type that are struggling too right now, so we don't realize there are others in similar situations or with the same kinds of feelings. But we will make it through and who knows what good things are going to happen!
Welcome to 7 Cups! @Rilaxkuma
I do not see any progress in friendships, all I have are acquaintances from my current and previous workplaces. None of which are around my age though. They are either like 12 years younger, or at least 12 years older than I. I had two good colleagues from my previous job, before the Pandemic, we met once a month for lunch, one is old enough to be my mother and the other my grandmother. So, not exactly someone I can be friends with. I have to say though, I'm not the outgoing type of person either. Still much of an introvert. So, even if I'm out there, I still won't be able to meet anyone. I once went to church, in hopes to meet people my age. Although I was able to meet some people around my age, but with different lifestyles, and that they were married, I still didn't click with them. Also, they were all devoted Christians and I couldn't get myself into it. Although my parents became Christians and was baptized several years ago already, I couldn't get myself into it. I had too many unsolved questions, that I was afraid to ask for answers and eventually gave up.
Looking at my life, I feel I desperately want to be in a relationship, and I want to have at least one close friend. Aside from friendship and relationship, I thought I went into a career that I could be doing until retirement, I made a big career change 3 years ago and now work in a local hospital. Then, in the past summer, some colleagues filed a complaint against me, and I was investigated by my Manager. Although I think it ended well, but those colleagues, I will continue in working with them, I feel uncomfortable when we work the same shift. As their complaint was unfair and I felt targeted, not knowing that they'd attack without warning. I do love my job now, but to think that I'll need to continue working with those people, I'm no longer sure if I can last until retirement with this career.
I am taking some online courses during this time too, trying to create another career path for myself. There is something I want to at least try, that way I don't regret it later. Even if it doesn't work out, at least I gave it a shot. But to get to that place, I first need to earn a Diploma, so I've just started that this Fall. If that career path works out in the end, I can leave the current workplace, and won't need to worry about those unpleasant colleagues of mine!~
@Jaeteuk I can relate to this a lot and am in a similar situation. I'm 31 and have been single for 8 years. I've also only been in one relationship that lasted a year. I have a couple of friends but don't really have anyone that I'm close with. I have a history of childhood abuse and neglect so it's very hard for me to get close to people. When I have put myself out there and tried to date or make new friends I usually end up getting rejected. I also have a really difficult time finding people I connect with and have social anxiety so that doesn't help. I'm not really close with my family and the only members of my family I'm close to at all are my grandparents. Lately I have been worrying a lot that once I lose them I will have no one and will be totally alone in the world. Just wanted you to know you're not alone and there's someone else that can relate to what you're going through.
As an introvert and a person with depression, I get really scared that in this life, I'll never have that one close friend. Or have a significant other by my side. I feel the loneliness is slowly chewing my heart away. I will eventually feel empty and hollow and hate my life in the end. Come to think of it, ever since Elementary school, the friends that I play with, they all ended up leaving me behind. Some grouped together and teased me, others just forgot about me when we went to different schools. I had a group of friends back in 3rd grade, then, when I moved, and changed schools for the next 2 years, I met the same group of friends back in 6th grade, but by then, we were no longer close; I still remembered them, their names and all, but I became a stranger to them.
I really wish to have that one close friend. That understands my depression and can be my support for when I'm triggered and feel like staying in bed all day. I want to have that person where I can share my feelings with, that I can reveal my true self and not be abandoned. Why is this so hard to cope with? I don't like being all alone. Even my brother has one good friend he's known since University years. (brother is 4 years older than I). It's totally hopeless for me, I swear~
@Kaylamh326
@Jaeteuk i am sorry you feel this way i am sure you will find someone but it takes time and have to develop some sort of friendship and trust etc good luck
