Things I wish I could tell you..
Mom, I wish you'd stop acting like i was okay because I'm not.I have been dealing with severe dpression and anxiety for the past five years. The reason I started self harming was beacause of what you let happen. Last week while you were at the store I was going to kill myself, but I couldn't do it because I didn't want you to find me. I wish you'd listen to me more and get me the help I need before I'm too far gone. I wish we had a better relationship, but we don't. And I don't think we ever will. I also need to let you know that the only reason I'm still here is because, no matter how miserable I am, I still try to hold on just so you will never know the feeling of losing a child.
Dear spvsr, i was faking the situations and making a drama, so u can understand how struggle i am on this project.
You know, all time you just letting me to do, just the way it is, whats your help ?
I know my mistakes and made you dissapointed and angry. But please, dont show it all infront of new peoples, even peoples that i might be needing next time. Such a bad impressions. Are you a human? Or u did this by design?
I wish I could tell you that your an addiction I can barley get a taste of. You make me feel so high that I would do almost anything for you but sadly we can't be together the rules apply. I wish I could tell you that their not you but I can't and won't I'm too stubborn.
I wish I could tell you that you broke my heart.
Mothers are supposed to love there children and I'm sorry I was never enough but damn you I tried every day and every night to be what you wanted, I wish I could tell you how much you disowning me hurt how badly I wanted that love back.
I wish I could tell you that I'll never forgive but some day I just might.
I wish I could tell you-- so many of you there are!-- how terribly sorry I am. For all those things I did that hurt or shamed you; changed or worried you. For that and more, I am so very, very sorry.
I wish could tell you how much I admire you, look up to you, but I hope that isn't getting confused with you thinking I am interested in in.
I wish I could tell you that I love you.
But that would just frighten you away . . . if you haven't run already.
Dear parents, I'm really sorry for everything. I can't be what you are expected. I promise someday I'll be able to treat you better so you can enjoy life without worrying anything about me. I promise I'll do better and I'll be okay.
I wish I could tell you that I know you care, and I recognize everything you do for me, and I know you're trying your best. I know you won't believe any of the things I tell you, but please don't lash out at me. When we talk I never feel heard because you often change the topic immediately to something you're "winning" on. It feels passive agressive and like I am always attacked. Why is it that I never felt comfortable telling you emotional problems when I was little? It feels like I am responsible for your emotions, and whenever I tell you things I can only feel guilt.