Thinking of ending relationship but scared
I've been in a relationship for almost a year. I'm unhappy but I love the person I'm with. I don't feel right in this relationship though. There's an age gap, I'm significantly younger. And although I love them I find myself unable to settle, to think about committing long term. This is my first relationship and I'm scared. Scared because I attach to people too easily sometimes, I think I'd struggle to find someone else and being single again would throw me into the cycle of managing friendships and relationships with people I might be interested in but who like others, etc.
I think ending my relationship is the right thing to do, I feel alone now but I worry I will feel more alone after. I don't have many friends. Talking to people is a luxury for me and I don't know how to find new people. I'm worried I'll fall in love with someone who won't be interested in me, or that in all my relationships whether friends or otherwise I'll be the lesser important person. I'll be noticed and cared about less. Giving up the security of my relationships is terrifying but I feel like it's something I have to do. I'm just worried about what could happen after. I feel trapped now, but having feelings for friends or people already in relationships and seeing other people happy when I'm just miserable is very scary.
I'm not really sure how to cope with these feelings. I think I know what I need to do at some point but I'm worried about the consequences. Any advice would be very appreciated :)
You already know what is best for you, now it's all about finding the courage to step out of your comfort zone and do it. I know it's hard to face the fear of being alone, and falling in love and not being loved back... But I believe that when you step out of a situation that really makes you uncomfortable, everything that seemed impossible is seen under a new light. Right now you're going through a lot of negative feelings and thought connect to your relationship and anxiety about making a decision. Once your relationship is over and the decision is made, it's possible that you'll feel more free, more light-hearted, and thus your overall wellbeing and confidence will improve. And it's much easier to relate with others when you feel like this!
I hope you can soon find the courage to do what is best for you. I make you my best wishes!
@FlyingNoodle If you're not happy now, I think it's okay to go with that. You're young(er) and want to maybe just see more of life for your own personal development (not necessarily relationship-wise) and that's okay.
It's okay to be alone. You may learn some things you didn't know. Good luck!