Tired of being single
I’m almost 30 and my friends are all in long term committed relationships. I’ve had a few relationships but mainly spent a long, long time being single (upwards of 5 years at times). I got out of a relationship last summer and I’m worried I’ll continue to be single for years again.
I don’t think my friends in relationships get it. They have told me to just enjoy being single. But they have someone to come home to every night, someone to take care of them when they are sick, to laugh with daily, to cuddle, to help out in emergencies, to make dinner etc etc. I’m really sad I don’t have any of that. I feel like I don’t even have anyone to talk to anymore. It feels very lonely.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’ve tried all the apps and I’m friendly to people at events. Ive read many books on communication and relationships, I have a good career and a lot of great hobbies. And yet nothing seems to work out long term.
Don't worry my guy. I understand that completely trust me. If girls loved you in the past there will for sure be ones in the future. It won't take another 5 years, you just gotta think about where someone that you might be interested in may be, bars, shows, places wherever, just hang around and soon enough you'll see someone you may like and maybe they will feel the same way if they do than your set! Try not to jump into something that you think won't work out because it might hurt you again. But don't be afraid to take a chance. You gotta be a cool enough guy to get a single girl let alone many. Just a little more time bro, dont be afraid to vent either, your friends are just that and want to be there to help you feel good. Any real friend wants you to be happy and good just as themselves and I'm sure there good friends so just tell them how it feels and it's not easy being alone for you.
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself. I can kind of understand since things definitely change with friends when they all get married, but try not to compare your life to theirs.
Marriage isn't easy and you definitely want to make sure you pick a quality person and that takes time. I've also seen happy couples that got married later on in life too. While you might be thinking how they come home to a happy family every day you don't actually know what their life is like behind closed doors.
Not that I wish this on anybody and you definitely have a right to feel the way you do just trying to keep it in perspective. They could be unhappy or on the brink of divorce or finding themselves having to forgive their spouse for things they shouldn't have had to in the first place and for things you'd think a grown adult should not have to be explained to. And getting divorced and starting over or being unhappily married is definitely worse than being single trying to figure it out.
Marriage changes everything. Finances, ownership of property, family and family dynamics, holidays, friends, life choices, legal rights... everything. Just take your time, go out do things you like, be happy on your own and do your best to make sure that when the time comes the person you marry is someone who accentuates your life and adds to it just as much as you do theirs.
