Toxic Relationship?? SEEKING ADVICE

@queenChlo I’m not an expert on this topic, so take everything I say with a grain of salt, but based off of what you’ve said it might be starting to become toxic. If your expressing your love to him has become inadequate, and he’s gotten possessive to the point where not responding until after work becomes a big argument, and especially if pleasing him has become your goal instead of having a fulfilling relationship, I would say it might be time to reconsider whether this is a good thing for you. I don’t have all the information though, so you might want to try asking a close friend what they think, as they will probably be able to see it from a different perspective and be able to give some advice on what to do given how it looks from outside the relationship. (Hope I didn’t overstep with anything)

@queenChlo

I’m just seeking advice on whether my relationship may be becoming toxic. (Advice is not allowed on here because you are the best person to make the actual decisions on the situation. Anything shared is purely an opinion based upon the information provided, please take it as only a personal opinion)

We’ve recently started having these arguments that seem to always be related to the same issue.

For example; we had one earlier. The circumstances were that I didn’t say “baby” after saying “I love you”. I’m sure to you, that’s a very simple thing, me too. But I didn’t realise how big of a deal it was, I simply didn’t say it how it wanted me to and we argued over it. Then I feel forced to say it because he says “you forgot something” and it just feels forced. (Understandable that you feel forced since you didn't like being told how to express your love. On his part, he might be trying to make things perfect for him which came at the cost of spoiling it entirely for you. There is an important balance to be reached here through talking and expressing how this changed the whole moment for you.)

We also don’t live together just yet, so another reoccurring argument reason is if I’m online and he can see that I’m online, if I’m not talking to him, he gets angry at me. Says that I cant not reply to him instantly. (Why is he insecure? Is there any history with trust issues for him? Sometimes instances like this guide us towards issues but that does not mean they can't be worked out. If the person and relationship are otherwise great, certain issues can be discussed and boundaries set to ensure both parties feel respected and secure) 95% of the time, I’m simply watching videos or something and get distracted.

He knows how very easy I get distracted.

We had another this morning; I was having a hard time waking up and getting up for work, I didn’t message him a good morning until after work and he got angry at me for that also. (Expressing disappointment at not having heard from you is very different to expressing anger. Perhaps a talk about communicating more sensitively might help. e.g. "I love waking up to your text, I missed you this morning!" as opposed to "Why did you not send the text! How can you forget me!")

We never fight or argue over anything else, other than those three topics. It’s just starting to feel like I’m having to force myself to react certain ways or say certain things to please humans avoid conflict. He always says to me “just don’t do it again” as if he’s forgiving me for cheating or something and I’m just his pet now.

I’ve explained to him how I feel and it feels like I’m explaining to a wall. Because he just agrees with everything instead of trying to talk about the issue. I don’t know what to do at this point.(Lol! Awesome analogy about pet training. Fact is, when two individuals come together to build a strong relationship, it's important to constantly communicate what you like/don't like so that the future moments can be happier for both parties. That is how interactions can be better tuned to be sensitive to each others triggers and emotions. It seems like a good opportunity to express back to him how it makes you feel, maybe ask him "It stresses me when you show anger, please just don't do it again" :) See how he reacts to your request and that will answer your question about toxicity. If he is willing to listen and be fair and respect your boundaries, then it's not toxic.)