We’ve been talking for 8 months…

@emotionalGrapes6961

@emotionalGrapes6961

I just want to say … I did not submit that prior post (smile). Anyway, is there a way you can break down what being "official" means to you into smaller bite-size pieces so that "they" can process them one at a time? Maybe you can get some of what you want, or maybe you can even get all of it just in different terms. And, maybe, if you're getting what you want already just without the name, you might think about how important the name is to you. Those are some quick speculations, just some ideas. Think about what part of the designation is most important to you. And, see if you can get an agreement on that. If it is important to you and not forthcoming, then you might think about moving along, but that feels unlikely given what you have said.

Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are here.

@EmotionalGrapes6961
@Shanisayshi

I think sometimes we lie to ourselves and even convince ourselves that someone is far better or even suitable for us than they really are IRL. We will use justifications, blindly accept what heads our way, and usually, we end up on the losing side of things -- usually in an aftermath that is far than fair after all we invested.

People selection is critical to your life because who you place around you greatly determines many different aspects of how the rest of your life is going to likely go. If you make a poor choice, it can negatively impact you in many ways long after they are gone from your life, which we call the wake. This means that where you source your men is going to make a great deal of difference. It's really no different than shopping at a store that has merchandise with a high amount of defects and returns. What do we do? We stop shopping there. The same should go for meeting men that are far from what we want and need in your life.

Stop looking for, "Yeah, he's ok!"
Start looking for, "We match on many of the most important relationship areas, glad I met him, he's awesome!"

What you want in a relationship matters. When someone pulls the delay game with you, promptly show them the door. I've come to find though that sex is somehow interwoven in men's desire to keep you around, but not commit. For some women, they have found it very beneficial, when meeting someone new, to hold off on anything sexual. This usually gets rid of most of the men who are only out for that purpose, because they want an easy win and constant supply while using the carrot and rabbit routine to keep you interested just enough where the supply doesn't stop. Does that make sense? When the sex dries up, so does the loser who was only aiming to use you as a receptacle. Unfortunately, there are far more men like that, than respectable and decent men which are the type you're likely wanting to attract.

So, change your dating pool.
Hold off for a long while for sex.
Be firm as to what you want and need in a man and a relationship, don't settle.
And remember, OQP - only quality people - around you at all times, be quick to flush the losers.

Life is short, too short - to wait around while someone strings you along, getting plenty of play along the way, but never making any move to make things solid between you.