What Is A Right Answer
Today was really great until I went to a school club after the day was over. My ex best friend (not sure what to call her now) had basically abandoned me for two months, barely looked at me. She used to sit at my table in the morning and talk to me in the halls, and suddenly she was never around and just walked past me to her next class. Today she went to the club for the first time this semester (after calling it boring and she stopped coming awhile ago) and asked me a few questions like everything was normal during the meeting. She wanted to go to a camp with me three months from now.
I've been extremely hurt that she just abandoned me, and then her just approaching me like she had just stepped out for coffee hurt me more. I texted her later and plainly asked her if she wanted to be friends or not. "I don't care either way." It hurt so much to read it. It still hurts to think about, so I try not to. It isn't working well. I said if she can talk to me and spend time with me, we can still be friends. She has a bad homelife and has had some hard times recently so I've been clinging to the hope that she's just having a really hard time and that someday she'll thank me for sticking with her. I love her so much; she's practically my sister, I don't want to lose her. But I'm afraid she'll keep hurting me and she'll never 'get better', that this is just the way she is, now. I know I'm not a great friend, but I thought she'd still cared about me, at all. All the cartoons and afterschool special-y movies etc. told me to never give up on a friend, but I've never seen someone act like she does. She says she can't let anyone get too close, and she thinks life is basically pointless. She has no empathy for anyone, it truly scares me.
I don't know if I made the right decision, or even if there is one. It just hurts and I don't want to give up someone so important to my life.
@IAmNotBroken
I'm sorry to hear this has happened. It sounds like you care for her a lot! But a friendship is a two way street. It's not fair on you being the one who tries and the one who cares, whilst she "doesn't care either way" about you or your friendship. She sounds like a person who is toxic to you and your mental health. There will be people out there who want a friendship with you, who will love and care for you like you do for her/them. I hope you realise this sooner rather than later, that you deserve better and to be treated better than how she is treating you. Unfortunately, people rarely change and if you're hoping someone will change, it's usually because they're not a right fit for us, but we're simply hoping they can be one day. I wouldn't waste my time on someone like that, but I can understand it is hard to end a friendship/relationship when you still have love and hope for it.
