What should I do?
So basically I started to talk to a girl 2 months and a half ago. We started to speak online untill little by little we liked each other more and more. And then we started to speak daily, call, chat, etc. I was heartbroken before so I didn't want to go all in because it was too soon and I was afraid. But she started to seem so interested in me and she matched so well with my personality and hobbies that I couldn't help but start to fall for her.
Days were passing and we kept calling each more and more, untill we were almost like together and she was telling me to meet her soon. We were at the point where we said to each other that we feel love and that we are together. It was amazing and we were happy.
Ome day, we had some small arguments about me being "controlling" about certain stuff but we fixed it and we understood each other. All good. Later on, she told me that we went too fast maybe, which it might be true, but she said that it was better not to say we love each other etc, but I felt love already by then even if it was soon because it's so hard to find a girl like her for me that matches me, she was not a "party girl type", smart, loyal, clingy, sweet, loving, into fashion, cultural things, etc. Perfect for me. Anyways, I unddetood her and I said okay, we could go more slowly and that's fine.
We kept talking and we were very fine, and then, we met, because she wanted it so bad. It was the day we were going to meet and it went super amazing, having dinner together, going to see places and even booked a super pretty room with nice views were we made out, kissed all night etc. It was like a movie. Perfect date.
After some days, once again, she mentioned that we shouldn't make this official yet and keep being patient. I said okay but it was starting to give me anxiety because I really loved her already and we did everything together during 2 months.
Lastly, 2 weeks ago she says it's better not to continue this because she feels empty and numb and never felt love for anyone. She says she doesn't feel the same way as me and doesn't want to hurt me. She wants to keep me as a friend and doesn't want to let me go. I am broken, feeling down again, I have done everything I could and I tried to make her understand we can go slowly and see what happens but she seems sure her feelings won't be the same as one month ago. I don't understand how it can change that fast. I don't know what to do, I feel hopeless I have to go through this again, I can't be her friend only for a long time because it hurts. I feel very very down and lonely and I wonder if maybe with time she will want me again or if it's better to stay here for a while (because I find it too violent to say bye forever to someone I literally met and slept with 2 weeks ago) and then leave. She told me she won't be and doesn't want to be with anyone and wants to keep me here, but it feels sad how we barely call each other now and how we don't speak much daily. What do you guys think about this?
Thank you.
Hey @rauldz,
This is a hard situation. Thank you for being open to share. As someone who's been through the same issue, it's best to let her go. It's tough and even hurts to contemplate, but she's made up her mind on being friends of possible. If you're not comfortable or frankly don't want to be "just friends", then you shouldn't force yourself to be in that relationship. I hope the best for you
Thank you for the message.
Yesterday, after 1 day no talking she texted me randomly that she misses me. I feel confused. I don't know if she wants me or not or what will this lead to.
Hello,
I feel sorry, it must be really hard.
From I read, ofc I don’t have the whole picture even if you explained it well, I feel like this girls is pretty selfish, and if this happened to one of my friends, I’d be really angry at her.
People love the way they want to, but I find it cruel that she changes like this her mind about your story, and if you were my friend, I’d think that she wanted to receive affection and love, didn’t to commit though in a long-term relationship and at the same time want to make sure you’re still hers.
It’s selfish and not really mature, but I believe it’s because she might have deep insecurities that make her act like this.
I know how terrible it must be to have gone to a certain extent in terms of intimacy with someone and now you cannot accept that you might have to give it up.
In your shoes, I’d find it super hard, unfair, and I’d feel bad in my body and soul, I experienced it. Take your time and be strong.
If we were friends, I would make you understand that she’s no good for you and that you should keep your distance with her, she hurt you enough and you certainly don’t need that this goes further; someone else who deserves the depth of your love and feelings awaits you somewhere else.
Wish you the best.