What should I do with this guy? :(
Last week on February 11th, I started talking to a guy I knew was the older brother of this guy I knew of in high school. We had never talked ever in our lives before but I really like everything about him.
On Valentine’s Day was our first date and it went really well and we had a lot to talk about. We left the restaurant and I asked him if he still wanted to hang out or go home and he said he still wanted to hang out. So we just decided to hang out in the car because the weather was fine and I didn’t want to go to his house on the first date.
But I feel kind of stupid and I guess it’s because maybe I’m lonely for what I did next, but we were having a great conversation in the car and he asks if he could kiss me, and everything was just right there was a lot of chemistry throughout the date. So I said yes and so we kissed, and then it turned into a make out which then turned into a little bit more of like some frisky stuff, we didn’t go terribly far at all though just mostly heavy make out stuff. We had stayed out from 6-12am.
After the date we had decided we wanted to see each other the next day too, but when it got time to it he had been on the phone with his mom apparently for awhile and gave me the option to come to his house and watch a movie because he was tired. Another thing to note is he works Monday-Friday sometimes Saturday from 6am-5pm so he has every right to be tired, I also knew that he doesn’t lie about what he’s doing day to day because we always *** pics back and forth so I knew he was home the whole time and whatever.
When he mentioned for me to come over for the movie he even said that if I didn’t want to come over the second date that would be fine. And I said we could just hang out another time. So then on Friday of this week I kind of more of made the plans to hang out and I went to his house this time because he was going to be getting off late and we just watched tv. He was really nice and made me food and even mentioned little things like oh one day I’ll make you a better dinner than this cause our hang out was a little last minute, and even jokingly asked his cat if he approved of me. But the whole hangout was nice but we definitely didn’t talk as much as the first, and it kinda sucked but I heard his *** notification go off on his phone. We did meet on *** so I knew he had it but still kinda sucks cause I thought we were supposed to be talking although we’re not exactly exclusive and have only been talking a week. Basically last night was good, we made out a little more and everything and he kissed my stomach and we did a little more with just our clothes on though. We agreed we would maybe see each other again Sunday. And before I left Friday I even got the courage to ask him where do we stand, and he said well we will see I definitely think it’s too early to tell. Which I totally agree with him! I’m just really not okay with us only being a hookup kinda deal. But yea I don’t know I’ve just been feeling like the first date was the only great thing and he seemed to really have feelings for me then, now I’m getting scared if he doesn’t like me as much and I don’t know if I’m overthinking. I haven’t texted him all day and he hasn’t texted me on his own either, which is making me sad. I don’t know now if I’m just a sexual thing for him although I only was like that with him because I really like him and want to date him.
So I don’t know what to do now because he doesn’t text me on his own, and to be honest he never really did except the first day we initially started talking. I don’t know if he’s just kinda one of those people that won’t really text you unless you text him, or I don’t even know. And I kind of hate that it feels like I’m the only one making plans because I asked if we could hang Sunday because he told me he was free then, I don’t know if I should continue with him or what exactly I should do.
please help :(
Try texting him. If he didn't reply, well then maybe he isn't that interested. Just not worth your time
When’s the point when I should just stop texting him I guess? Because he answers when I do text him, he doesn’t ignore me. Just doesn’t really initiate anything, but in person he’s good.
Only time will tell. But I have hope for you. I'm not sure what social media you were talking about but clearly you get along well and have some real chemistry. Maybe slow it down the "frisking" if you want to test him if he is in it for the long term since you are going a little fast (nothing wrong with that, but he might indeed be for the hookup).
Thank you! Yea I definitely slowed it down, and that’s the thing I met him on dating app but I knew who he was before we met on there. For some reason it was blurring out the name of the app. It’s just weird because he didn’t text me at all today and I texted him about an hour ago just saying that I missed him. But I know he’s definitely gone to sleep because we stayed up late last night and he woke up early.
But it’s weird because when we talked on the app at first he was saying how he finds it hard to meet people and that getting on an app was not really something he wanted to do but didn’t know how else to meet anyone. And I said well what are you looking for on here? Are you looking to date someone?
And I told him that’s the only reason why I was on there. And he’s like “oh finally like nobody else really seems to want to date” and he was like “I hope you actually want to meet at some point because none of the girls on here ever seem to want to actually meet” So in my mind I’m like well okay this guy wants to date someone, so then that’s why I was okay with getting frisky with him early on because I knew what he wanted. But now idk because I’m overthinking well he didn’t text me at all today even though he posted on his *** story at work. And he doesn’t initiate anything really.
@elizabetha101 Women in general prefer relationships rather than hookups as opposed to men. I hate to be cynic, but this could just be a line. I think you may want to slow down, and if he asks, you can tell him, and if he is into you for more than just hooking up he will understand. This is just what I would do in your position.
Thank you this really helps if me and him do see each other again maybe I’ll only keep it to a kiss here and there. Something else interesting to note is he doesn’t even try to get me to do anything for him at all, he only tries to make me feel good which is definitely something I’m not used to with guys who are only looking for hookup kinda stuff. But yea I’m definitely trying to look at this in a logical way and trying to stop talking to him if he only seems like he only wants a hookup. And we are young he just turned 21 and I’m 18 almost 19. Although we’ve both been in 2 year serious relationships so *** u can say he has the capacity to have a relationship