What to do when you feel like you

@khernan

Hi,

good question. At some point I think we can all worry that we are outstaying our welcome, or some such!

Sounds like you doubt your own ability to read people. You could usefully become more curious about body language and human behaviour.

That would help give yu some security in your judgements. Take a look at some youtube videos, and if you agree with my approach, Allan Pease wrote a good book on the subject.

Hey there @khernan *hugs* (if you are okay with it)

You know I have a lot of this kind of self doubt as well. The thing that worked with me, and I know this may sound stupid, is that I ask people if I bother them. I mean, not everyone, of course, but those who are closer to me like friends.

I remember that first time I shared these feelings with one of them and asked if I do bother her and she said no. Of course I was not believing it, like there was still that voice saying that she is just saying it to make me feel better but actually agreed that I can ask her about it if I ever feel like it and then I have got slowly more confident around here and then I started to try and explain this to other friends and surprisingly they all were understanding of this.

I won't lie, it is still a work in progress, but it helps for me anyways so I thought that I would share! :)

Either way, I want you to know that I am glad to have you here with us!

@khernan

I understand what you are describing and find myself having the same doubts as well. I am convinced that my friend, boyrfirend, family, even boss and co-workers feel burdend by me. I have asked my friend and boyfriend if I am and they both say no, but like another poster said, it's not easy to believe their response is honest because they don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have a tendancy to withdraw myself for periods of time and this increases my depression. I think that realising that I do this and feel this way is a good step because now I know I can identify these feelings and when I feel them. Maybe I've had a bad day and before I unload everything about it, I try to have a cup of tea and listen to my boyfriend talk about his day? This way I feel like the time spent together is more mutual and not so one-sided on my thougths and feelings.