Widower. How to help
I have been seeing a man who is a widower.
Its coming up to the 5th year of the death of his wife. He shuts off completely from me. I find this difficult to cope with. He suffers from depression as I do too.
Just feeling a little lost.
@LuLugirl
It seems he's not fully moved on from his wife, considering he completely shuts off from everyone around the anniversary of her death. It's a sad time yes, and he may need time alone around this time, but if he had fully come to terms with it, then he wouldn't shut off from you. You must ask yourself if this is something you can deal with in the long term and wonder if you're just a comfortable replacement for him. I think all you can do is support him when he asks for it but ultimately give him the space he needs. Don't forget to also consider your feelings and happiness!
@SilentSerenityy I have thought about this.
He shuts off from everyone. But I start to doubt my own self.
I'm a kind person who can give so much.
But I know he hasn't dealt with his grief fully.
I wish he did. Only he can.
@LuLugirl
This is probably something beyond your help that only a counsellor could help with. Don't take too much on!